


serendipity or whatever

by sppacecowboyy



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Adventure, Angst, Avengers who? I'm here for the Revengers, Drinking, Epic Friendship, Fix-It, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Humor, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Road Trips, Team Bonding, Team as Family, but not too much, idk TAGS, kind of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-11
Updated: 2018-07-09
Packaged: 2019-05-05 02:12:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 25,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14606955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sppacecowboyy/pseuds/sppacecowboyy
Summary: Some time after Infinity War when Thanos is defeated and the Universe isn't in (immediate) danger, The Revengers deserve a different kind of adventure, and set out on a roadtrip across the States. Along the way they'll get to know each other better than they could ever hope (maybe better than they'd like, in some cases), get some long needed relaxation, and maybe definitely get into a little bit of trouble.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hi guys! so i made a [playlist?](https://open.spotify.com/user/goldsttar/playlist/62nGlC6dwwLyedU2lyAgQR) for this fic, so u can listen to it if you want :D

"Let's go on a trip."

That is...unexpected. Firstly because Thor is sitting by himself on the roof of the most secluded building in the Avengers Compound (it's not secluded at all whatsoever, but of the buildings present, it's still the most secluded) and he'd been certain that no one had been awake, let alone seen him, when he made his way up there at three o'clock in the morning. Secondly because, well, now was absolutely no time for a trip of any sort. Not to Thor, at least.

He doesn't have to look up to know who the unexpected voice belongs to, but he does anyway. Bruce is standing there behind him, looking unsure as to whether he should join Thor on the ledge or not. 

He almost wonders how Bruce found him up here, before deciding it probably wasn't that hard. Thor's been retreating here for the past month whenever he needed a quiet moment, and no one's ever come up to bother him. It only occurs to him now that was probably more because no one had wanted to bother him, and not them not being able to find him. 

He scoots unnecessarily over to the side a little from where he's sitting, legs dangling over the side of the roof, and pats the spot next to him. Bruce eyes the spot uncertainly for a second before stepping forward and sitting next to Thor, a little cautiously, legs crossed in front of him rather than hanging over the edge. 

They sit there in silence for a couple of seconds before Bruce clears his throat and comments, eyes on the skyline in front of them, "I see why you come up here now. Great view." 

"Yep," Thor says, despite the fact that it's really. Not a great view. 

On some days it is, he supposes. The Compound is surrounded by a lot of trees, Thor imagines they look nice sometimes. Right now they just look brown, the autumn colors washed out in the dark of the night. The sun should be coming up soon so it's not entirely dark out, just gray, the sky covered by blankets of dense, murky clouds. It might be about to rain. It's not a very aesthetic view, but it's pretty damn perfect for Thor's purposes on the roof. Those purposes being (not that he plans on admitting it any time soon) essentially just to sit and mope in solitude. 

Bruce opens his mouth to say something, shuts it again, then finally says, "How're you doing, buddy? Thought I heard thunder."

Those two statements should be unrelated but they're not. 

"That happens on its own sometimes, y'know."

"That's not really an answer."

Thor glances over at Bruce for a moment before looking back out at the skyline, putting his palms on the concrete behind him and leaning back. He knows Bruce is asking out of genuine desire to help, and for a moment he genuinely considers answering the question. But he doesn't know where to start so instead he says, "A trip?"

"Yeah, like a roadtrip," Bruce says, like he was expecting Thor to deflect.

"Most trips on this planet are on roads, I thought. Where were you thinking of going?"

"Right, I guess you've never been on a roadtrip. Did you guys have cars on Asg--" Bruce cuts himself off, backtracks, says, "Um. On Earth a roadtrip is just a trip in a car, but with cheesy playlists on the radio, and it's usually kind of improvised. You don't even need a specific destination, really. It's like a vacation."

"Ah, we had those. Sif, the Warriors Three, and I once went on a  _roadtrip_ to a volcano planet, back when we were young. It was so much fun, we rescued a local family there from a three-headed dragon and then defeated him in combat, I can't remember his name. Father was so mad when we returned," Thor says, smiling fondly at the memory, chuckling. He kind of misses those days of adventuring without so much depending on him; the simpler times. His laughter trails off as he thinks about his friends and how they'll never go on such a trip again, and the smile fades into something much more bittersweet.

"Not exactly like that, roadtrips are more like--Jesus, a dragon? Like a real dragon?" Bruce says, looking over at Thor again. The looks of bewilderment turns to something more akin to compassion then, maybe a hint of sadness, and he clears his throat and adds, "I dunno about volcano planets, I was thinking more like New Mexico? California, maybe? I was just thinking...you could use a vacation."

Thor raises an eyebrow at Bruce as he sits up, putting his elbows on his thighs and leaning forward, head in his hands. The running track beneath them is almost a better view than those murky skies. "And what of Valkyrie, and Loki? The rest of the Avengers, or the rabbit and his tree child? Everyone could use a vacation, Banner."

"Yeah, it's been a rough couple of...well, it's been rough," Bruce says. "Valkyrie can come, too, if you want. I don't know about the tree, though."

"As much as I would like to go on this trip of roads with you, I have my people to think of. What little remains of us, that is," Thor says.

The people of Earth have agreed to harbor the Asgardian refugees for now, but only for a brief time, until Thor can find them a suitable planet to rebuild on. He can't complain, he has to be grateful they've let this group of outsiders in at all. But although space is a big place, probably technically the biggest place there is, it's a lot harder than one might think to find an empty planet that has all the resources to support life on it. 

He hears Bruce sigh and a comforting hand appears on his shoulder. "I know you do, Thor, it's been eating you up for weeks. But you have time, you'll find somewhere to rebuild. You  _deserve_ to relax a little."

Thor disagrees. A part of him knows he shouldn't be thinking this way, but he can't but believe he doesn't deserve anything. He doesn't deserve to be sitting here, not when half his people were gone, not when his decisions had led to the destruction of Asgard, the death of his brother (even if Loki wasn't really dead. Again. Damn, that's getting old, he really needs to learn some new party tricks. Or at least clue Thor in next time.) But Thor can't express any of this doubt to Bruce, especially not when Bruce has been through so much, too. Needs a vacation, too, possibly even more than Thor does. So he puts on a smile and looks over at his friend, and says, "You know what, Banner? A roadtrip sounds awesome."

* * *

A day later and Thor and Bruce are loading a pair of lightly packed bags into the trunk of one of Stark's cars--which he refers to as a 1965 Mustang Convertible with a lot of pride, and tells them not to dare getting a scratch on 'her'. When they'd brought up the idea of a roadtrip to Stark, Thor had slightly expected him to be offended they weren't inviting him along. Instead he'd encouraged them to get the rest they deserved, and offered them their pick of his (many) cars. 

Loki, on the other hand, had been offended at the lack of an invite. Thor only hadn't invited him because he doubted Loki would even want to come, but Loki had invited himself along. And after all his indignation, Loki spends the entire time packing sitting on the hood of the car with Valkyrie, complaining about how long it was taking them to get on the road. Thor doesn't remember inviting Valkyrie and neither does Bruce, but somehow they're loading a bag of hers into the trunk alongside theirs (What does she even have to pack? All she brought with her to Earth was a sword and a set of armour.)

"Your pasty brother's gonna get a burn if you don't hurry it up," she says, inspecting her nails as Thor walks around her to put Bruce's thermos in the front cupholder for him.

"We're almost ready, first of all. Second, this would go a lot faster if you two helped. Third, a burn would be exactly what he's got coming to him."

"It's not even sunny," Bruce says over Loki's noises of offense. 

"I know, I just wanted to call Loki pasty," Valkyrie answers, hopping of the hood of the car and taking a travel mug out of Bruce's hands. Bruce had brought it out for her, so he doesn't complain, just gives her a look. She swings the back door of the car open and says, "Let's get this show on the road."

Bruce takes the driver's seat, being the only one of the four of them who actually knows how to drive a car; Thor takes the front passenger seat, claiming his legs need the most space because he's the tallest, but really he just wants the front seat; Loki takes the other back seat with some complaining. Bruce turns on the car, switches on the radio a second later, and then they're on the road. 

"Where are we going, anyway?" Valkyrie asks, looking like she wants to prop her feet up somewhere but just can't find a place to do it.

"Somewhere stupid, most likely," Loki answers.

"You two invited yourselves," Bruce says, glancing at them in the rearview mirror. The road itself is quiet right now, but Thor gets the feeling this car won't be. He can't say he's disappointed about that. There's a hint of a smile on Bruce's face when he asks, "Why would you come on a trip you don't want to be on?"

"I like to travel," Loki says flatly, earning a skeptical look from Bruce.

"I was just bored. Will there be booze on this trip?"

"You may be disappointed by Earth booze," Thor tells her. "It's quite weak."

"Much like Earth," Loki says. Bruce and Thor both shoot looks of varying disapproval at him and he puts his hands up, palms out in a surrender of mock surrender. "Kidding. I was kidding. Well, kind of kidding."

Bruce reaches forward to crank up the volume of the music a little, but over the singer's vibrato Thor hears him mumble, "Why did I think this was a good idea?"

The first forty-five minutes they're on the road go more or less just like that. Valkyrie and Loki seem to be getting along in their mutual attitudes of disinterest, that is until they get into disagreements over what's playing on the radio. Despite their bickering, Thor's able to decide for the first time that he likes Earth music. Or at least, he likes the first thirty seconds of every song he gets to hear before they make Bruce change the station, that is. When they're not arguing over music choices, the three Asgardians (Loki will always be at least partly Asgardian in Thor's mind. It was his home as much as any one else's, no matter how Loki denied it) make Bruce's life more like that of a kindergarten teacher with their questions from culture shock...or culture confusion, as the case may be.

"So when you go on these Trips of Roads--"

"I know you know that's not what it's called, Thor."

"--Is it always just driving while listening to music? Or is there more to it?"

Bruce shakes his head, opening his mouth to offer an answer before changing his mind and closing it again. Then he sighs and says, "I dunno, I haven't actually been on a roadtrip except for once in college, and I don't really remember it that well."

"Because it was so long ago?"

"Because I was blackout drunk," Bruce says softly, seeming slightly embarrassed.

"OOoooh, Bruce! I didn't have you pegged for the party guy," Valkyrie says, a sort of conspiratory grin appearing on her face. "So what's this college? Is it, like, some kind of festival?"

"What? No, it's a kind of school."

Valkyrie gives him a disappointed frown and slumps a little lower in her seat. Bruce glances at her in the rearview mirror, and Thor watches his eyes widen, and then his gaze flickers back and forth between everyone in the car. "Hang on, are you telling me we've been in this car an hour and I'm only just noticing you aren't wearing seat belts? Why aren't you wearing your seat belts?"

Thor suppresses his smile as he shoots a look back at Valkyrie and Loki, who both nod at him, and then he turns to Bruce and says, "What's a seat belt?"

"You've seen a seat belt before, I know you've seen a seat belt before!"

"I've never even heard of that," Valkyrie says from the back, leaning against the door as she swung her legs up to lay them across Loki's lap. "Why would my seat need to wear a belt? That's ridiculous."

"You guys are...You're messing with me, right?"

It's actually a challenge for Thor to keep a straight face, but he does it, and he turns to look at Bruce with an earnest expression, eyebrows furrowed in convincing sincerity. "I wouldn't mess with you, Banner, you are my friend. And as my friend, I thought I could trust you to explain your weird Earth customs to me."

Bruce's eyes narrow slightly, and he looks away from the road for a split second to look at Thor, who does his best to keep his expression sincere. It must work, because Bruce gives a small nod when he turns back to the road in front of them. "The seat belt, it's the thing right next to you. You buckle them up and they help keep you safe if there's an accident."

"Ah, this flimsy little ribbon?" Thor asks, pulling his seat belt forward and inspecting it with a kind of fascination.

"Wouldn't some sort of shield be more effective?" 

"Or a protective spell, perhaps?" Loki adds.

In unison Valkyrie and Thor nod enthusiastically and say, "Yes! A protective spell!" Then Thor turns to Bruce and continues, "Does Earth have its own custom enchantments for this purpose, or should we see if Loki can do one for us?"

"We don't need a--Just buckle your--Oh my god."

"Just Thor is fine," Thor deadpans.

"Please put your seat belts on, for the love of..."

"Very well," Thor says, mirroring Loki's gesture of surrender from earlier. He reaches for the seat belt and pulls it across, buckling it up with ease. He hears a couple of matching clicks as Loki and Valkyrie do the same, matching looks of suppressed amusement on their faces. "So, do we need these because you plan on getting in some sort of accident, or what?"

"It's just a precaution," Bruce replies, then his eyes light up with some sort of recognition and he turns to glare at Thor, an accusing index finger this close to poking him in the eye. "You're fucking with me, aren't you?"

And they still might have gotten away with it, Valkyrie and Loki being the skilled liars that they are, except Thor can't stop himself any more and his laughter just comes spilling out. Loki leans forward to smack him in the back of the head for spoiling the joke, but then Valkyrie is joining him in his laughter, and even Loki chuckles a little, though he's more of the 'quietly amused smirk' type. "Of course I know what a seat belt it," Thor says, between bursts of laughter. "You've  _seen_ me wear one. The Quinjet has seat belts, man."

"I hate all three of you with a fiery passion."

"Now who's the dramatic one," Loki murmurs.

Bruce shakes his head, but Thor catches the softer chuckle as he leans forward to switch the radio station. Thor thinks the song that comes up sounds familiar, something he's overheard Stark listening to before, but Bruce seems really excited to hear the song, jumping up in his seat a little. "Oooh, guys, you have to hear this song! It's an Earth  _classic_ , I've never met someone who doesn't love it."

"And does this all-favorite ballad have a name?" Loki asks, raising an eyebrow.

Bruce is practically beaming as he answers, "Bohemian Rhapsody." 

* * *

They're driving through some remote town in the middle of nowhere when Thor decides he's hungry, and proceeds to nudge Bruce about every other minute to make him aware of this fact, and ask when they can get food. After about the fourth mention of it, Loki either decides he's hungry too or gets tired of hearing about it, because he says with a distinct disinterest, "Yeah, I could eat."

So they pull into a parking lot outside of the first restaurant that they pass, a small diner much like one Thor visited on his first trip to Midgard. Bruce is still humming the tune to  _Bohemian Rhapsody_ under his breath when they all pile out of the car, and with a slight smile, Thor hums along.

The diner is, unsurprisingly, not busy. The floor is made up of checkered tiles, the windows all of curtains tied back to let the afternoon sun in, and there's a counter with stools at it, and fresh pastries on display behind a glass case. The walls are lined with little booths, the seats covered in red leather. Against the back wall is an odd looking machine of sorts, a sort of curved rectangle with light tubing around the edges. 

A waitress shows up and offers to guide them to a table before Thor has a chance to ask Bruce about the box, and then they're all seated in a booth by the windows. The waitress smiles the whole time and hands them each a laminated menu. Then she straightens her apron and says, "Can I get you guys anything to drink while you decide?"

"Yes, I'll have your strongest drink," Valkyrie says, elbows on the table, paying no attention to the menu.

"D'you mean coffee?"

"Sure," she answers, in a tone that shows Thor she doesn't have any idea what coffee is.

To be fair, Thor hadn't known his first time on Earth either. Which reminds him of something. Leaning forward to speak in his idea of a whisper, he tells her, "They don't smash their mugs here, it's considered rude."

Valkyrie gives him a weird look and says, "I'll keep that in mind."

"And for you three?"

"I'll have a coffee, too, thank you," Thor says.

"Water, please," Bruce says.

Loki, who has been eyeing the menu with an odd curiosity, looks up at the waitress when she turns to him and asks, "What is a Pepsi?"

"A soda?" she answers, slightly hesitant, like she thought it was a trick of some sort. 

"I'll have one of those," Loki says, with a decisive nod.

The waitress takes a quick look at each of the four of them, an amused but slightly uncomfortable look on her face, then nods and heads back through the swinging door that Thor assumes leads to the kitchen. A movement catches Thor's eye a moment later, and he turns to see the door partially open, two people poking their heads through to look out into the dining room. One of them is the waitress from before, the other a young woman of about the same age. Both of them are looking over at they're table, but they're eyes widened and they quickly duck back behind the door when they see Thor looking at them.

Thor shrugs and lifts the menu, and Valkyrie does the same. She narrows her eyes and then looks up and says, "There are so many options just for lunch, what the hell?"

"It's just a regular length menu," Bruce says, a small shrug. "Actually, kinda small compared to some places."

"Yeah, you should'a seen the menus on Sakaar," Valkyrie answers. 

"I don't think I want to," Thor says, pulling a disgust face as he thinks of those scavengers when he'd first landed on the planet who had literally asked him if he was food, but also remembering that really  _weird_ substance they'd found on one of the Grandmaster's ships that was supposedly a meal. "I recommend trying bacon, I have a feeling you'll love it."

Valkyrie gives him a hint of a smile, then turns her attention back to the menu. A moment or so later, the waitress reappeared with a tray of drinks. The smile stays fixed on her face as she gives everyone their drinks, then tucks the tray under her arm. "Alright, do you need a little more time, or are you ready to order?"

"I'll have the bacon," Valkyrie says with a decisive nod. "And also the sausage, and a Monte Cristo, whatever the hell that is."

The waitress looks a little disapproving, but she writes down the order on a notepad nonetheless, then nods and looks to Loki, who shrugs and orders some sort of salad and a burger. Bruce also gets a salad and a grilled cheese. Thor opens his mouth to order next, but the waitress cuts him off, placing a hand on his shoulder and saying, "I bet I can guess your order. You're looking for something hot."

Valkyrie snorts. 

Thor glances at the hand on his shoulder and picks it up by the pinky, removing it from his shoulder with a polite smile. "I was thinking, like, a burger? Some fries, maybe."

"You got it, sweetie."

The waitress smiles again--her face might be stuck that way, Thor's not sure, maybe it's a medical thing--then turns and walks back into the kitchen, ponytail swaying behind her. A minute or so after she's gone, Valkyrie clears her throat and says with an amused look, "Aww, I think she likes you."

"What gave you that idea?" Bruce asks, sarcastic. 

Valkyrie reaches across the table to put a hand on Bruce's shoulder, giving him a mock wink and saying, in a voice much more high-pitched than her own, "You want something  _hot._ " 

Just then Loki seems to notice the rectangular thing Thor had spotted when they first came in. He points to it and asks, "What's the purpose of that contraption?"

"I have no idea," Thor says. "I think it's some sort of machine."

"What's a machine?" Bruce cuts in, following their gazes towards the contraption by the wall. "That? That's a jukebox. People used to use them to play music, 'till we got better technology."

"How does it work?"

"You just give it money and select a song."

"I would like to play a song," Thor says. 

"Go for it," Bruce says, digging around in his pocket for a second before holding out a couple of round gray coins to him. Thor recognizes them as one kind of Midgardian money, they all have different currencies apparently and it's been weird trying to learn the names for them. 

"So does a jukebox only accept these quarters, or would it take peonies as well?" 

"Well, a peony is a flower, so no."

"Nice try, Banner, but a peony is a coin. I researched it," Thor says, giving Bruce a knowing nod before heading over to the jukebox. Loki gets up to follow him.

"What, you just give it those coins and it makes music?" Loki asks, looking down at the machine with a comical sort of mistrust. He reaches out a finger and pokes it, and when the jukebox doesn't react in anyway, he looks back over at Thor and says, "It's a little primitive, don't you think?"

"Get it working, then talk to me about primitive."

Thor hands Loki some of the quarters, and they both search for wherever they're supposed to put them. Once they find the slot and put in the coins, it's just a matter of selecting one of the titles to play. They're scrolling through the list--there are a lot of options, especially for something Bruce says is considered outdated for Midgard--when one of the titles stands out to Thor, as he remembers a conversation he'd had with T'Challa's sister and the younger Peter a few weeks ago. He remembers the both of them found the song very funny and, thinking Bruce might like it as well, Thor points to the title of the song and tells Loki, "How about this one?"

Loki shrugs and selects it, and when they're sure the song is playing, they head back over to their table.  _We're no strangers to love, you know the rules and so do I..._

Bruce looks up as the song comes over the radio, seeming torn between confusion and amusement. "Rick Astley? What made you pick this?"

"Starkson and Shuri informed me it is a Me Me," Thor says, smiling almost proudly. 

"Starkso--You have to stop calling Peter that, he's not even Tony's kid," Bruce says with a smile. He takes a sip of his water, and when he sets the glass back down he starts to laugh, shaking his head slightly. "I can't believe the god of thunder knows what a meme is."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't actually know what i'm doing w/ this, lmao, but thx for reading


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you guys are so kind, omg, thanks for all ur lovely comments! hope u like chapter 2 just as much! thanks in advance for reading <3

After they've eaten their food (Valkyrie and Thor ordered seconds and ended up having a contest to see who could eat the fastest, much to Loki's amusement, and Bruce's disgust. There are no real winners that day) and left the diner, much to the disappointment of the overly handsy waitress, they drive until the sun begins to set and then Bruce announces they need to stop for gas. They're on a road at the top of a mountain in the middle of nowhere when he says it, but somehow there's a gas station off the road within the next fifteen or so minutes.

Once the tank is full Bruce pulls the car into a parking space and tells everyone to pile out. He's met with a chorus of "Why" and "Don't tell me what to do."

"It's a nice view, that's like half the point of roadtrips, c'mon," Bruce says, and Thor hears Loki groan but everyone's already unbuckling their belts to get out of the car. Bruce shuts his door behind him and murmurs, "Plus there's a bathroom, and I'm not stopping again later when someone has to go."

Thor opens his mouth to crack a joke, but he cuts himself off as he gets out of the car. Bruce is right about the view.

The gas station's lot is practically at the top of the mountain, and it overlooks a whole forest of evergreens. He can still faintly make out the road they'd just driven up winding its way through the trees. With the setting sun as a backdrop, it really is a magnifect view. A kind that just gives Thor an even better appreciation for just how beautiful this planet they call Earth is. 

Bruce sits down at the edge of the parking lot, feet dangling over the edge of the mountain. Thor sits down next to him, and the others all follow suit. After a moment of silence Bruce sighs and says, "This is nice. Really makes a guy feel small, y'know? You can just sit back and think abou--"

 _B e l c h_. Valkyrie lets out one of the loudest, deepest, most impressive burps Thor's heard in his entire 1500 years of life. Followed immediately by her own laughter as she says, "That was a good one."

While Bruce smacks himself in the face with his own hand, Thor reaches across Loki in order to offer a hand to Valkyrie, who rolls her eyes but high-fives him nonetheless. Thor laughs and leans back, absently watching a bird fly over head. "That was a good one, but I bet I can do you one better."

"Please do not," Loki  ~~pleads~~ whispers.

Which, of course, Thor takes as the perfect reason to. So he takes in a deep breath and summons the strongest possible burp that he can, looking Loki directly in the eye and then letting it loose--which is something they used to do to annoying each other all the time as siblings (or maybe he just did it to annoy Loki but, to be fair, Loki stabbed him for fun so...) but a kind of joking around they haven't done for a long time. Which must be why Thor feels so ridiculously happy when Loki, just like he used to do when they were little, pinches his nose in disgust and then smacks Thor in the back of the head.

"You guys are terrible," Bruce says, somehow both amused and resigned at the same time, and Valkyrie just laughs harder. Then he gets back to his feet and says, "Let's get going, I wanna find a motel before I have to drive in the dark."

"I'll drive," Thor offers.

Bruce looks down at Thor, looking like he's trying to smile, and narrows his eyes at him. "Sure, do you have a license?"

"What would I need one of those for?"

"And have you ever driven a car before?"

"No, but how hard can it be?"

"Yeah, I'm gonna drive," Bruce says with a small nod. "But first, I'm gonna get some decaf from inside. Anyone thirsty?"

Once he's gotten everyone's drink orders, Bruce heads off into the little building accompanying the gas station. They sit there looking out at the sunset for another few seconds, then Thor gets up. He turns to offer a hand to Valkyrie to help her up, and she smacks it away, which is not entirely unexpected. Then when Loki bitches about Thor not offering to help  _him_ up Thor holds out a hand to Loki, only to have it smacked away again, which Valkyrie and Loki both seem to find completely hilarious. 

Thor can't even complain. He might not think it's as funny as they do, but it's so nice to see the two of them so happy that he finds himself laughing along with them. Maybe Bruce was right, roadtrips are a good idea.

They hit the road again a few minutes later--after some slight bickering Valkyrie takes the front seat, and Thor sits in the back with Loki--paper cups of coffee with plastic lids on in hand. Bruce is really insistent about those lids, apparently Stark will "literally disembowel" all three of them if they get any stains on the seats of his car. Even so, Valkyrie takes her lid off in order to pour a good amount of whatever's currently in her flask into the coffee. 

"I also bought some Slim Jims and Doritos, cuz those are classic roadtrip snacks," Bruce says as they round a corner and start driving back down the mountain. "Oh, and some really cheap wine, but that's for when we get to a motel."

Loki looks at the plastic bag Bruce gestures to, then asks, "Who's this slender Jim?"

"He invented the snack, I think," Thor answers. 

"So the slim nickname is for irony?" 

"What? There's no Jim, guys, that's just what they're called," Bruce says, shaking his head. "They're some kind of jerky, really popular in America. Here, try one."

Still keeping his eyes on the road ahead of them, Bruce pulls a couple of Slim Jims out of the bag and passes them to Valkyrie. She keeps one and hands the other two to Loki and Thor. It turns out a Slim Jim is just a kind of dried meat in the shape of a stick, and packaged in plastic for distribution. 

"Banner, let me borrow your phone," Thor says once he's taken his first bite.

"Why?"

"I'd like to call Slender Jim," Thor answers, taking another bite. "And thank him for making these for us."

"There's no Slender Jim, Thor."

"Then who made these?"

"I dunno, someone in a factory somewhere. Glad you like them, though."

* * *

There's a motel at the bottom of the mountain, with a sign up in red neon letters that reads simply MOTEL, the letter E blinking on and off irregularly. And beneath it a sign that reads, ROOMS FOR RENT, y'know, in case someone doesn't get that it's a motel. It's not quite dark yet when Bruce pulls into the parking lot, and they all hop out of the car and grab whatever they think they'll need for the night. The motel lobby is quiet and mostly empty and incredibly quiet, a fire burning in the fireplace and an incredibly bored looking woman standing behind the counter. 

When the four of them walk in she looks up at them, smiles politely, looks back at her computer, then does a double-take. A grin slowly appears on her face as her eyes widen, and she tries to suppress the grin, but it just comes back. "Oh my god, you're--You are, aren't you? My daughter just loves you!" Then she looks over her shoulder at a half-open door behind her and shouts, "Honey! Come see!"

Loki leans towards Thor and whispers, slightly annoyed, "Just how many fans do you have on this planet?"

A moment later a small child, dressed in a green tutu and blonde pigtails, comes walking out around the counter. She looks around the lobby in confusion for a moment, but when her eyes settle on the four of them standing there, her eyes go even wider than her mother's and she literally begins to jump for joy. Once she's jumped she comes barreling towards them at top speed, shouting, "It's you! It's you! You came to see me!" 

She only stops when she's crossed the lobby at a speed fast enough to make Thor wonder if this girl has super speed, and throws herself at Bruce, wrapping her tiny arms around his leg. Wearing what has to be at least a contender for happiest smiles ever in the history of the world, she cheers, "Hulk! Hulk! Hulk!"

Bruce looks down at the child, either alarmed or confused or both, and then looks up at Thor, as if pleading for help. Thor just smiles and gives him a thumbs up.

"Um, hi?" Bruce says, almost comically unsure.

Which, evidently, the child doesn't notice. She finally lets go of his leg though, taking a step backwards to look up at him, still beaming in awe. "I can't believe it's you! You're so cool! Hi, Hulk!"

"You can actually call me Bruce," Bruce says. He still looks unsure, so Thor gestures to the kid, a way of silently encouraging him. Bruce gives him a small, if cautious, nod and crouches down to be at eye level with the kid. "What's your name?"

"I'm Samantha, but everyone calls me Sammy," the girl answers. "My big brother says you're the smartest Avenger! He's gonna be a scientist like you some day! I think I will be, too. Is it hard to be a scientist? Are you and the other Avengers friends, or do you just work together? How many times have you saved the world?"

"Once or twice, I guess," Bruce says, probably only answering the last question because Sammy had been talking too fast for him to catch any of the others. 

But that answer simply won't do, so Thor has to correct him. He takes a slight step forward and claps a proud hand on Banner's shoulder, and tells her, "Actually, Bruce here's saved the world at least three times. He also helped to save the people of Asgard from an enormous wolf and a goddess of death. We truly could not have done it without him, he was very courageous."

Thor didn't think it was possible, but Sammy's eyes grow even wider and she looks away from Bruce for the first time to acknowledge Thor's comment. "How big of a wolf are we talking?"

"Enormous," Thor says in a sort of conspiratory tone, holding a hand high above his head as a gesture to illustrate how big the wolf was.

Sammy looks back to Bruce and starts to jump up and down again. It's almost shocking, how a being so incredibly small can contain so much energy. "That's so cool! You're so cool! Oh my gosh, oh my gosh! Will you tell me about it? Please, please, please!"

Thor catches the hint of a smile on Bruce's face as he drops into a more comfortable position on the floor, and once Sammy calms down enough to stop bouncing, she sits down as well and Bruce does tell her the story. A simplified version of the story, with significantly less violence than was actually involved, but the little girl eats it up. And now that Bruce doesn't seem quite so uncomfortable, he seems to be having fun talking with this little human. When he's done telling the story she starts asking him a million science questions--"Why are some stars brighter than others?" "Why is the sky blue?" "Were the constellations different on the other planet you were on?"--and Bruce seems more than content to answer them for her.

Thor's watching them with a fond smile when Loki leans over and whispers, "I guess you're not  _everyone's_ favorite after all, brother. How does it feel to be so left out?"

And Thor opens his mouth to tell Loki it feels just fine, because look at how adorable Sammy and Banner are, but he cuts himself off to turn around when someone taps him on the shoulder. He hadn't noticed her walking over, but the mother of the child is standing there behind him. "Y'know, I'm actually more of a Thor girl myself."

"Spoke too soon," Loki mutters, seeming a little disappointed. 

"But how did you guys take out the evil sister's army, though?" Sammy asks, apparently having moved back to the story about Asgard.

"Actually, this really cool lady behind me did most of that," Bruce says, pointing over his shoulder at Valkyrie. "She's really good with a sword, probably the best, even."

"You have a sword?" Sammy asks, turning to Valkyrie with a new kind of awe. 

Valkyrie narrows her eyes and looks at the kid a little suspiciously for a moment, as if this is her first time seeing a child. Then she nods to herself, and answers, "Yeah. It's called Dragonfang."

"AWESOME!"

* * *

Eventually, after spending at least a half an hour hanging out in the lobby with Sammy, they're able to get a couple of rooms, and head out to check in to them. They've got two rooms, each with two beds, right next to each other with a door in the wall that connects them. The door is locked when they get there, but they unlock it and leave it open, just to make the rooms feel more connected. 

They drop their bags on the floor by the door after walking in. Thor and Bruce immediately collapse next to one another on the nearest bed, and Valkyrie and Loki do the same in the next one. It's been a long day--the good, not fighting for your life or the fate of the Universe kind.

The four of them kind of just sit there in silence for a couple of minutes, then Valkyrie pipes up to say, "I believe you mentioned wine?"

"Yeah, it's in the car," Bruce says, moving to get up and get it.

"I'll get it," Thor says, stopping him before he can get up. He's been driving them around all day, it's only fair he doesn't have to head back out to the lot. So Thor goes out instead, almost forgetting the keys on the way out but remembering just before he shuts the door.

Actually, when Thor thinks about, Bruce has just been doing them favor after favor the whole trip. Driving them places, buying them things because they don't have money, and what they do have isn't technically valid on Midgard. Inviting them in the first place, because he knew they needed to relax. Thor only wishes he could do a better favor to pay him back than simply fetching the wine from the car for him. 

As he walks he starts thinking of ideas, but for now all he can do is grab the wine from the car and head back in. 

When he gets back to the room, they've turned on the television and Loki is holding the remote, idly skipping through different channels. Of course, once there's wine to be drank, Loki tosses the remote to the side, and none of them could care less about the television as Thor takes one of the bottles, which is labeled Strawberry Fields, and hands it to Valkyrie. 

Lacking anything to use as cups, the four of them end up just opening the bottle and passing it around from person to person. They each sit criss-cross applesauce--another term Starkson taught him--at the edges of their respective beds to make passing it around easier. And Bruce was right, the wine is cheap, but it doesn't taste bad and there's just something really nice about the four of them sitting together and just hanging out, with no crises or impending doom to deal with. In fact, the only threat to their life right now is the fact that Loki's a real lightweight. 

They go through the first bottle pretty quickly, and Valkyrie immediately takes out a second one. Not that anyone's complaining. Even Bruce isn't tipsy yet, and he's human. A lot more drinking is in order for this night.

At some point Bruce's phone makes a pinging sound, and he digs around in his back pocket for a second before pulling it out to check the screen. "It's Tony, he wants to know how we're doing," Bruce says, using his thumbprint to unlock the device and opening up his texts. "I'll bet he really just wants to know how the car is doing. He has no faith in my driving."

"I can drive," Thor says again, taking a sip of the wine before passing it along to Valkyrie. 

"Not happening. Ooh, actually wait, this is the perfect opportunity to clear something up," Bruce says, tapping a button on his screen that reads FACETIME. It rings for a couple of seconds, and then Tony's face appears on the screen. "Hey, Tony! I was just wondering if you could explain something to Thor for me?"

"I'll take a whack at it," Tony answers. "What is it this time? Microwave? Tennis?"

"Better," Bruce says, holding the phone out to Thor with a small nod. Thor takes it and holds it up so he can look at Tony, noticing that in the bottom of the screen is a smaller box with his own face in it. Bruce nudges him and says, "Why don't you ask him how Peter is?"

"Ah, yes! How is young Starkson?" 

"Starkso--You talking about Peter? Bruce, is he talking about Peter?" Tony answers, but Bruce's only response is stifled chuckling. Tony looks amused, too, when he looks at Thor and shakes his head. "His last name is Parker, not my kid."

"I see, you adopted. There's no shame in that, Loki's adopted and we all love him. Usually."

"I hate you," Loki says after sipping the wine, then holding it out to Bruce.

"He's not adopted," Tony says.

"He's Pepper's, then? You're a...what's the word...step-father?"

"What? No, not my kid."

"He's definitely your kid, though."

"He's not."

 _"Riiiight,"_ Thor says, giving an exaggerated wink into the phone. 

"Okay, know what? I'm making this a three-way call," Tony says.

And a second later the screen splits in half, and Peter's face appears next to Tony's. He seems mostly confused when he picks up the phone, looking back and forth between Tony and Thor. "The world's not ending again, is it Mr. Stark? Cuz you know I love being an Avenger, but I promised Aunt May--"

"World's fine, kid," Tony cuts him off. "Just need you to settle a--it's not technically a debate--between me and Point Break."

"Yeah, sure, what's the not-debate?"

"Tell him I'm not your dad."

Peter looks back and forth between the two of them again, and a smile slowly appears on his face, almost like he's planning something. His gaze finally settles on Tony and he says, in a tone of complete disbelief, "But, Mr. Stark, you  _are_ my dad."

"God dammit," Bruce says.

"You little--" Tony says.

"I knew it!" Thor says, 

"If I'm your dad, why do you call me 'Mr. Stark' and not, oh I dunno, 'dad,' hm?"

"I'm a respectful kid, dad."

"You're grounded."

When the two of them start to go back and forth like that, Bruce just takes his phone back from Thor's hands and replaces it with the bottle of wine. Thor takes a sip instead of complaining, and Bruce sets his phone down on the nightstand. Valkyrie stretches her legs out across the two beds to rest her barefeet on Bruce's knees and says, "I take it that didn't go according to plan?"

Bruce just says, "We're moving on."

So they move on to talking about the television show that Loki had left off on with his channel surfing. According to Bruce, it's called  _Star Trek_ and it's about a series of adventures in space. They spend a few minutes watching it, and while it is a little entertaining, it's completely inaccurate to how adventures in space actually are. Still, Thor likes those little creatures they call tribbles, and now he's just disappointed this show is fictional and he can't pet one. 

The episode is halfway through and they're on their fifth bottle of wine--or at least, Thor, Loki, and Valkyrie are, Bruce starting taking it slower awhile ago--when Loki looks up and says, "I'm hungry."

"I could eat," Valkyrie says.

"I saw a Denny's down the road," Bruce answers. "They're open 24/7."

Which is how they end up stumbling down the road towards this Denny's, Valkyrie still clinging on to the bottle of wine. There's only one person working when the four of them make their way in, dropping into the table nearest to the windows. They order a plate of nachos to share, and their waiter gives them a weird stare when they order what's probably way too many pancakes, and then Loki and Valkyrie start to bicker over whether they should be getting pancakes or waffles. 

"Waffles," Valkyrie insists.

"Waffles are literally just pancakes with abs," Loki says.

"Fine, then. Waffles for me and Thor, you lot can have pancakes."

"Awww, but I want waffles, too," Bruce cuts in.

They never do come to a conclusion on what they're ordering, but eventually the tired looking waiter nods wordlessly and disappears into the kitchen. He comes back about twenty minutes later, gives them their nachos, along with a plate of scrambled eggs and a bowl of goldfish crackers. Thor's pretty sure they hadn't ordered those last two things, but he's not really about to complain. Only later on, when they've devoured the nachos and the add ons, does the waiter actually bring them what they ordered. He presents them with a tray with stacks of both pancakes and waffles on it, approximately fifteen of each. Which is somehow both too many and not enough, in Thor's opinion.

* * *

They end up stumbling back to the motel a little before two in the morning. Valkyrie trips halfway there and, instead of getting back up, decides to just get comfortable laying down in the middle of the road. 

"Val? Wanna, maybe, get up?" Bruce asks.

"Nah, I'm good," Valkyrie says, folding her one arm behind her head as a pillow, and using the other to point an index finger up at the sky above them. She quotes, "It's a nice view, half the point of roadtrips."

The three of them still on their feet look up at where she's pointing. It's a clear night, the only obstruction to viewing the stars is the occasional tree branch hanging overhead. Bruce glances back down at Valkyrie, then looks over to Thor and shrugs, moving to lay down in the road beside Valkyrie. Thor grins, mirroring Bruce's shrug and laying down beside him. He looks up at Loki and pats the ground to his left, a gesture for Loki to join them. Which, if the expression on his face is any indication, won't be happening any time soon.

"Come on, brother, join us," Thor says entreatingly. 

"I'd rather not, thanks," Loki answers, shaking his head in disapproval. "Have fun getting covered in dirt and run over by passing cars, though."

"I've been hit by cars before, it's not that bad, actually."

"I don't think I wanna know," Bruce remarks. "But this road's pretty quiet, we'll hear a car coming before it can hit us."

"What he's saying, Loki, is get down here and look at the stars with us."

"No."

"Fine," Thor says with a disappointed sigh. He holds a hand out in Loki's direction and adds, "At least help me up, then."

Loki looks at him suspiciously for a second before reaching out to take Thor's hand. He rolls his eyes and says, "You'd think the god of thunder could get up without my hel--"

He's abruptly cut off as Thor tightens his grip around Loki's wrist and pulls him down, until Loki's laying on the ground with them anyway. Thor laughs as Loki just accepts his fate and gets comfortable on the ground. "You'd think," Thor says, mimicking Loki's tone. "The god of mischief would recognize a trick when he sees one."

"You're a terrible brother," Loki says flatly, but when Thor smiles so does he. 

"Which one of these stars does Sakaar orbit?" Valkyrie asks.

"Uh, I think..." Bruce says, hesitating a second to figure out which one he's looking for. When he finds it he points up and tells her, "It's that one."

"That one?" Valkyrie repeats, pointing in the same direction as Bruce. When he nods she thanks him, then turns to look at the star, holding both hands out in front of her, with her middle fingers up in the direction of Sakaar's star. 

"I wonder what the planet's like now," Bruce says with a small frown. "Y'know, post-revolution and all that."

"You think they'll have affected any actual social change?" Loki asks, his disbelief obvious in his tone. Thor doesn't know why he would've expected Loki's comment to be anything but cynical, but for some reason it throws him. 

"Well, yeah," Bruce says. He sounds skeptical, but Thor's not sure if he's skeptical of his own response or Loki's. "Revolutions work all the time on Earth. Well, not all the time. But they have worked."

"The hardest part is behind them, but if it's really change they want on Sakaar, they're efforts have only just begun," Thor says. He's been lucky enough to never live through a revolution himself--he used to think none had ever even been attempted on Asgard, but lately he's been wondering just how much of their history Odin kept secret. Either way, he'd had to spend more of his time than his younger self appreciated studying how government works as a child. 

"As long as they've rid themselves of the Grandmaster, I'd say they're halfway there," Valkyrie says.

Thor has a lot of questions about how Valkyrie got to Sakaar, and what sort of things she went through while there. Any person with even the slightest curiosity would after just a conversation with her. But he also knows better than to ask; knows if she ever decides she wants to tell him she'll do it of her own volition, and he'll be there to listen if that day does come. Until then, he decides just to tell her, because maybe it'll do her some good to hear it, "They are rid of the Grandmaster, at the very least they're free people now. You helped to get them there."

Valkyrie doesn't answer that, but when Thor glances over at her, he thinks he catches the hint of a smile on her lips. But it's accompanied by something more sorrowful. He wonders what she's thinking.

"There's Aquila," Bruce says, after a few moments of possibly awkward silence.

Thor frowns, following Bruce's point towards a grouping of stars. He knows Midgard has different constellations than Asgard, Jane had taught him some of them back when they were first getting to know each other, but this one is unfamiliar to him. It takes him a second to pick out the shape it's supposed to be. A collection of seven or eight stars all clustered together, they look vaguely like some sort of bird. 

"It's a bird," Thor says, turning his head to the side to look over at Bruce.

"Well, yeah, it's an eagle. Zeus's eagle," Bruce says. Then he points a little to the side and adds, "And next to it is Delphinus, that one's a dolphin."

And it doesn't really matter that Thor has no idea what a Zeus is or what it has to do with an eagle, because Bruce just looks. So content to be pointing out Midgardian constellations to them. Thor finds himself smiling as he asks, "What's a dolphin?"

Bruce turns to look back at Thor, almost laughing but not quite. He repeats in a whisper, like they're discussing some sort of secret plot, "What's a dolphin?" Thor nods. Bruce bites his lip in thought, like he's not quite sure how to explain it. "It's a kind of fish."

"It does look like a fish," Thor says, turning to look back at the sky.

"What's that one?" Valkyrie asks.

Bruce follows her point, looking up at the stars in silence for a moment, scanning for whatever it was she'd pointed at. Then he shakes his head and says, "That's not a constellation."

Valkyrie's rather eloquent response is just to stick her tongue out and blow a raspberry.

"It could be a constellation," Loki says, almost defensively. 

"Okay, it's a constellation," Bruce says. "That means you have to name it, though."

Loki opens his mouth to answer, but before they can hear whatever name Loki's about to come up with, Thor cuts him off. "We can't just name it willy nilly! They're supposed to have stories behind them, we need a story for it and the name will follow."

"First we should define which specific stars are in our constellation," Bruce says.

"That one," Loki says, pointing at one.

"That one," Valkyrie says, indicating a different one.

"That one," Thor says, pointing to one slightly to the left. 

"And that one," Bruce says, gesturing towards a fourth one.

Four's not really enough to make a coherent shape out of, though, so they each pick another one. With eight stars in their made up constellation, it's a lot easier to make out some sort of silhouette. It's not easy, thought, to come up with a verdict on what that silhouette represents. Bruce is adamant that it's a flower of some sort, Valkyrie thinks it's an arming sword, Thor thinks it's a longsword--this leads to a small debate, not only about what type of sword it is, as Thor and Valkyrie team up to argue with Bruce and Loki about why it even matters what kind of sword it is, and why they can't just say it looks like a sword--and Loki firmly believes that it's shaped like a snake. 

After some extensive, mostly friendly (but slightly rivalry) bickering, Bruce clears his throat and says over the arguing, "What if it's a sword named after a flower and a snake?"

"A longsword named after a flower and a snake," Thor concedes.

"An  _arming sword_ named after a flower and a snake," Valkyrie says with a small nod.

"Longsword."

"Arming sword."

"Longsword."

The back and forth picks up again for another minute at least, and this time Loki interrupts them with a frankly impolite request for them to shut up. "Can we  _please_ just decide that it's a sword, and the pair of you can decide what kind on your own, when I don't have to listen to it?" Bruce nods in agreement, and Thor and Valkyrie sigh but neither of them picks it up again. That is until, a moment later, Loki murmurs softly, "Besides, it's clearly a claymore."

"A claymore?" Thor and Valkyrie say in unison, matching tones of what can only be described as a mixture of disbelief, and personal offense. Thor turns to look over at Loki and adds, "Seriously, brother, a claymore? I thought you were smarter than that."

"A claymore," Valkyrie repeats with a scoff. "Out of the four of us, I own the coolest sword, so I think that makes me the authority. It's an arming sword."

"Longsword," Thor says, disguising the comment with a small cough. 

"Enough! It's a sword," Bruce says, with the same definitive tone Frigga used to use when breaking up Thor and Loki's arguments back when they were kids. "What's the story of our sword?"

"It was forged by the breathe of a wise dragon," Loki says thoughtfully. 

"For a brave young warrior from Midgard," Thor adds.

"Who got into space how?" Loki asks skeptically.

"She ran into a group of Ravagers curious about Earth, and offered them treasure in exchange for passage through the stars," Valkyrie says, her tone very matter of fact, like Loki should have guessed that that was how this made up Midgardian made her way into space.

"Right," Bruce says with a nod. "And she needs the sword to defend the Universe from..."

"From the wise dragon's evil sister," Loki says.

"Too soon," Thor interjects.

Loki sighs and corrects himself, "Fine. From the wise dragon's ex-student, a sorcerer from Knowhere, turned evil dictator."

"The dragon can't fight the sorcerer student because?" Valkyrie asks.

"He lost all four of his legs in a battle, as well as his only brother. Now he's frightened he'll lose his wings too, because they're the only thing he has left in his pitiful, lonely life."

"Loki, that's like, super dark," Bruce says, clearing his throat a little awkwardly.

"We're rolling with it," Valkyrie says. "Our mighty Midgardian warrior faces the sorcerer on a distant moon, after spending months training with the wise dragon, and promising him to get revenge for his legs and his only brother. Also, his dignity. So she wields the sword..."

"Serpent's Blossom," Thor blurts out.

"I like it," Bruce says. "How does the battle end?"

"The warrior is victorious, but she spare's the sorcerer's life, only taking the medallion that was the source of his power from him," Thor says.

"Then she ties the medallion to the hilt of Serpent's Blossom," Valkyrie puts in. "And uses the magic to aid her in battle, and breath new life into everywhere she visits."

They collectively decide the sword earned its name Serpent because it was made by the legless dragon, and also because it cuts as sharp as the bite of a venomous snake. Contrastingly, the name of Blossom comes from the swords wielder being of such a forgiving nature, and the power it later gains from the sorcerer's medallion to heal and make things grow. Their Midgardian protagonist then lives on to defend the Earth as well as the rest of the galaxy from whoever means to do it wrong. She also, somehow, manages bring the wise old dragon's brother back to life.

The tale finished, they all turn to look back up at the stars, and their constellation dubbed Serpent's Blossom. It might be Thor's imagination, but the stars seem to shine all the brighter now that there's a story behind them. 

After a few minutes of just watching the stars in peace, Thor looks over to tell Bruce something only to find that he's fallen asleep. Which means it's probably time for the four of them to head back to the motel and get some sleep. So Thor sits up, gently tapping Bruce on the shoulder a couple of times to wake him up. "The middle of a road is a terrible place to nap, Banner. Let's head back."

Thor stands up, and Valkyrie and Loki follow suit. Then he holds out a hand to help Bruce up, and is kind of surprised when Bruce accepts the help. He must've been more tired from driving all day than he was showing, because he walks the rest of the way back to the motel leaning on Thor's shoulder.

Once they're back they all collapse almost immediately into their beds, and as Thor begins to doze off, he thinks this might be the most relaxed he's felt in a long time. Maybe he'll even sleep peacefully for once.

 


	3. Chapter 3

They head back to the Denny's the next morning--morning is generous, Thor might've woken up around ten but most of the others aren't up until closer to noon--for breakfast, then hit the road again. Bruce teaches them a Midgardian game called "Eye Spy," then claims to regret it after the first few attempts, which is entirely fair, because they're all pretty terrible at it. Thor is no exception.

"I spy something...strong."

"If you say you're reflection, I'm stabbing you," Loki says, a little difficult to hear over Bruce's objections that that's not how the game is played.

Thor scoffs, "I wasn't going to say my reflection. Also, don't stab me."

"That tree," Valkyrie says, pointing out the window. Loki quirks an eyebrow at her and she shrugs and explains, "Trees are strong. They're sturdy."

With a tired sigh, Bruce asks, "Is it Valkyrie?"

Thor smiles and says, "It is Valkyrie! Excellent! Now it's your turn."

Bruce spies something "green," which is a bit of a cop out if you ask Thor, and after Valkyrie guesses a tree again and Thor guesses Loki's socks (which are actually the only spot of color in his entire outfit, because Loki insists on being some sort of goth), it turns out to be Thor's t-shirt. Then it's Loki's turn and he spies something "big" and Valkyrie guesses a tree again, and it turns out to be "Thor's ego," and Bruce tells him that doesn't count because, "Firstly, it's not even  _that_ true. Secondly, you can't spy an ego! That's not how the game works!"

They bicker about that for a few minutes, then it's Valkyrie's turn. She spies a tree. She doesn't even give them something to guess, she just announces to the car, "I spy...a tree."

They stop playing Eye Spy after that.

By then they're out of the middle-of-nowhere-forest, and Thor's not completely sure when it happened, but they're driving down middle-of-nowhere highway instead. Without a game to play they need noise, so he changes the station on the radio and, when he recognizes the song, cranks up the volume. It's a song called Don't Stop Me Now, Stark played it for him once, a long time ago. Still he recognizes it well enough to sing along to the chorus when it comes up, and eventually Bruce sings along too. By the time the second chorus comes up, Thor's 99.999815% sure that he even hears Loki's begrudging humming in the back seat, and he definitely catches Valkyrie nodding her head to the tune when he looks in the rearview mirror.

And it's when he's watching Valkyrie and Loki bicker about whether this song is better than the other Earth music they've been introduced to, watching Bruce laugh as he does a ridiculous impression of the singer's voice, that it hits him. He's happy.

In this moment, with these people, he's genuinely, whole-heartedly happy. And it's the first time he's been able to say that in a long time, since--well, he's not thinking about that right now, because his mood's been on a bit of a see-saw lately and he's not letting it tip back to the other side, not right now. Because for now, in this mildly cramped car, on this empty highway in the middle of nowhere, Thor is happy. 

Better still, so is Valkyrie. So is Loki. So is Bruce.

"LUCY THE ELEPHANT!" 

Bruce's sudden, uncharacteristically loud shout breaks Thor's sappy inner monologue, and he turns to look out the window where Bruce had pointed out of nowhere. The area around them is still largely empty, and he's fairly sure he sees no elephants. But he does spot a sign on the side of the road that reads: Lucy the Elephant, Next Exit.

"A little warning next time," Valkyrie says with a sigh, dropping the knife back into her boot that she hadn't even gotten all the way out before realizing there was no current threat. She leans back in her seat, crossing her arms over her chest, and asks with little amusement, "Who the hell is Lucy?"

"An elephant?" Bruce answers, a little uncertain.

"You mean to tell me," Loki asks, even less amused than Valkyrie, "You gave us all a heart attack over this Lucy, and you don't even know what it is?"

"Well...yeah. But listen," Bruce says, switching on the turn signal (Thor had figured out what that was for all on his own, take that Stark, he can understand Midgardian tech) to change lanes, even though there was literally nobody else around. As he does he explains, "It's a roadside attraction. Y'know, like the World's Largest Ball of Twine. Or the World's Largest Ball of Stamps."

"Lucy is...the World's Largest Ball of Elephants?"

"No."

"Damn."

"A roadside attraction," Thor repeats, slightly questioning. "Sounds like an adventure. Let us go and find this World's Largest Ball of Lucy's."

"There's no ball. At least, I don't think there is."

"World's Largest Lucy," Thor amends, which just makes Bruce laugh.

They take the next exit off of the highway a few minutes later, and once they're off they follow a trail of scattered signs advertising Lucy the Elephant. After a certain point they don't even need the signs anymore, though, because Lucy is actually very large, and they can see her in the distance well enough. Not long after, Bruce is parking the car in the first available spot, re-parking the car so it fits better in the lines, and then they're all piling out to go and investigate this Lucy. 

She is, in fact, an elephant. 

Well, not an  _elephant_. Lucy's a fake elephant. A really big one. Her eyes kind of look like they can actually see, which they shouldn't considering they're statue eyes; they also look almost like they can look directly into your soul. Thor might even be persuaded to believe she does, and then judges everyone's worth on the fact before allowing them safe passage. Which of course is ludicrous, because she isn't even a real elephant.

She's designed to look like she's wearing a red blanket, and a large, fancy kind of saddle. It's entirely possible that whoever designed Lucy originally did so to ride her into battle, and she's now a roadside attraction because she's been retired. Except, again, she's not alive.

"It's...an elephant," Valkyrie says, unimpressed.

"Yeah," Bruce says, one part defensive but two parts amused. "The world's largest."

"You said it wasn't!" Loki interjects, sounding a little too offended for someone talking about a fake elephant.

"That was before I saw the sign," Bruce says.

They turn to look at the sign in question, where it says, clear as day, "LUCY THE ELEPHANT: WORLD'S LARGEST FAKE ELEPHANT." For some reason Thor really likes that they included the word fake in the description, it makes him think of enough people confusing her for a real elephant that they had to specify. 

"Lucy is not  _only_ the World's Largest Fake Elephant," an unfamiliar voice says from behind them. Bruce jumps a little and they all turn to see who's addressing them, spotting a rather short Midgardian man (who looks very like that Danny DeVito fellow that Peter was telling him about), dressed in a Hawaiian shirt, cargo shorts, and an odd pair of slipper that appear to made of rubber, and have random holes decorating them. He's also wearing a vest with a number of different patches on it, one of which, Thor notices, is an image of Lucy. "She's also the only one in the country designated as a National Historical Landmark! Isn't she just beautiful?"

Valkyrie and Thor exchange equally confused looks, and when he looks to Loki it's the same expression. Bruce nods slowly, probably just as unsure how to respond as the rest of them, and after a long moment of uncomfortable silence and eye-contact he says, "Uh...Cool?"

"She is cool!" the man says, nodding vigorously. "I've got a few more fun facts about Lucy, if you want."

"Y'know, we're fine--"

"Great!" the man cuts Bruce off, reaches into one of the pockets on his vest, and hands each of them a pamphlet on Lucy the Elephant. "Standing six stories tall, Lucy was built in the year 1881! And she's still kicking! Neat, huh?"

"So neat," Loki says, unblinking, his voice a complete monotone.

"She was designed by a local real estate developer, she used to be his office," the guy continues, apparently unaware of the uninterested look on most of his unwilling audience's faces. Thor's not really that interested in facts about this fake elephant either, but he tries to keep an entertained look on his face, if only to avoid hurting the man's feelings. "After that she was a summer home for awhile. Can you even imagine living in an elephant all summer? You'd have to treat her with respect, that's for sure. And after that she became a pub--that's British for bar, y'know--but now she's been retired."

Thor's going to pretend he's not disappointed Lucy was never taken into battle.

"Oh! But visitor's are still allowed to climb around and check her out! Did I mention she's six stories tall?"

"Yep," Valkyrie says.

"Well anyways, I gotta get going," the man says. "Other places to see, y'know? You four enjoy Lucy!"

And then he's gone just as quickly as he arrived, leaving the four of them to wonder if he'd actually been there or not, or if he was just some weird hallucination. 

They stand there for a couple of seconds in silence before Valkyrie clears her throat and turns to the group, announcing with a certain confidence, "I bet I can beat you to the top of Lucy."

"Challenge accepted," Thor says, already getting ready to run. 

"This can only end well," Loki says, very heavily sarcastic, as per usual. He catches Bruce face-palming. 

A second later they're running. Loki and Bruce too, although they seem far less dedicated than Thor and Valkyrie (and by that he means Bruce is literally half-jogging towards Lucy, and Loki's pace can be best described as a partial speedwalk.) But for Valkyrie and Thor it's an all out sprint to the finish line--or in this case the finish elephant, whatever the case may be. 

For the first couple of seconds they're tied. That is, until Valkyrie sticks out her leg to trip Thor, and for some reason he doesn't catch it, so he ends up stumbling a couple of steps. Still he catches up to her at Lucy's front leg. While it is probably by no means the intended entrance to the...can he call this a building?...they both break off to opposite tusks of the elephant and use those to pull themselves up. 

Now an elephant's face isn't designed to be climbed, but it wasn't exactly the most difficult task either. Before they now it they're standing atop Lucy's dome of a head, and then scrambling to make it to the top of the saddle.

They probably would've reached their destination a bit faster if they weren't both pushing each other as they ran. It's too close of a call to really tell who gets there first, which means they'll likely be arguing over who the winner was for at least the rest of the trip, and then they both turn to look back down the way they came, searching for the missing other two. But Loki and Bruce are nowhere to be seen.

That is until, a second later, they hear the sound of footsteps beneath them. Thor drops down onto his stomach so he can lean down to look underneath the saddle roof, just in time to see Bruce poking his head up from a trapdoor, which he and Loki quickly emerge from, the latter brushing nonexistent dust off of his clothing. Neither of them immediately spots Thor, and they spend a minute looking around to find where he and Valkyrie could have gotten off to. When Bruce finally turns and notices Thor's head and shoulders just poking down from above him he jumps a little and stumbles back a step, bumping into Loki, who pushes him away, and then he stumbles forward again, stopping just before accidentally headbutting Thor.

When he recovers his composure he clears his throat and says, "There were stairs, y'know."

"Those are no fun," Valkyrie says, poking her head down, too. She really does have a nice smile. 

"She's right," Thor agrees with a nod. "You guys should come up here. Here, I'll help you up."

He shifts so he can hold a hand down to Bruce, but Bruce just looks at him and shakes his head. "I'll stay here, thanks. Something tells me that real estate guy didn't design this thing to support two Asgardians, let alone anyone else, on the roof."

"Suit yourself," Valkyrie says, shifting to lay on her back, eyes shut as she turned her head towards the sun. "I like it up here."

"So who won?" Bruce asks.

"I did," Thor and Valkyrie say in unison. Followed by, "No, I did. No--You didn't--I won."

Valkyrie waves a hand and says, "Whatever."

Thor smiles and repeats, "I won."

"And there's no contention over that whatsoever," Loki remarks.

"Shut up, Loki."

Loki rolls his eyes, and he doesn't quite laugh but there's an amused sort of snort, and Thor counts that as a win. 

A moment later Valkyrie decides she's thirsty, so she and Loki descend the elephant to set off on a quest for drinks--they're told to be sure not to only get alcoholic ones, to get some water or something for the road, but Thor's not entirely confident that's going to happen--leaving Thor and Bruce alone with Lucy. 

"This was a good idea," Thor says.

"What was?" Bruce asks. "The World's Largest Fake Elephant?"

"What? No-Well, kind of-No,  _this,"_ Thor says, shaking his head. "Your trip of roads."

"Alright, I know you know that's not what it's called, but thanks. I'm glad you're having fun."

"Val and Loki are having fun, too. Isn't it great?"

"Yeah. Yeah it is."

There's a pause for a second as Thor looks up for a second, watching a cloud move past the sun. Then he looks back to Bruce and asks, "What about you?"

"What about me?"

"How are you?" he explains. "I'm sure you've been stressed lately, too, everyone has. I mean, reasonably. I just wanted to make sure you were good, too."

Bruce smiles, and Thor swears he feels a little bit dizzy. Which might actually be from his head being upside down for so long, those two things probably aren't related. Still, he can't help but mirror the smile. "Yeah, I'm good."

Thor opens his mouth to say something, although he's not entirely sure what he plans on saying. Which is fine, because he's cut off by Valkyrie shouting from beneath Lucy, "WE GOT BOOZE!"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm supposed to be doing homework rn, but instead i'm listening to abba and writing marvel fanfic ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
> also, idk anything about geography, so if you've visited lucy and i put her in the wrong place, just. just ignore it. i hope you get to visit lucy someday   
> (also this is short cuz i'm tired, sorry! XD)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long! finals really kicked my ass, lmao. but the semester's over now, so maybe i'll hopefully have a more consistent updating schedule. thx for reading guys!

Bruce makes the four of them all stand in front of Lucy to get a "selfie" before they can leave. They drive till sundown and stop in a place too small to be described as a city but too big to be described as a town. They rent a room in the first hotel they come by, and then walk a few blocks down to a place called McDonald's for dinner. It's a relatively small building, and the bathroom smells distinctly of fish, despite there not being any fish on the menu. But they get a table by the window and Bruce and Thor decide to share a strawberry milkshake, so the place isn't that bad.

"How far are we planning on driving, exactly?" Valkyrie asks, around a mouthful of french fries.

Thor shrugs, because he honestly has no idea, then turns to Bruce. Bruce mirrors his shrug, slumping back against his seat. "I dunno, actually," he says, which isn't entirely surprising considering Bruce had described roadtrips as spontaneous. "The plan was no plan, so I guess we'll go back when we feel like going back."

"Got it," Valkyrie says with a nod.

"Why, were you hoping to go back soon?"

She grins and leans forward, elbows on the table. "Hoping not to."

"I second that, actually," Loki says. Which, despite the fact that Loki seems to have been having a good time on this weird trip of theirs, kind of surprises Thor. He's not sure if it's because Loki's not usually the sentimental type, or just that he was sort of expecting him to get bored of driving around with his big brother, a Midgardian scientist, and a Valkyrie--okay, the Valkyrie part was still pretty cool, she's a badass, not the point. Thor's expression must betray some part of his shock, though, because Loki adds in some slight indignation, "What? I'm having fun."

"Great," Thor says, in complete sincerity. He smiles but Loki just rolls his eyes.

"We're out of ketchup," Valkyrie puts in.

"I'll get some more," Bruce says, chuckling as he slid out of the booth.

* * *

When they're walking back to the hotel they pass by a really dimly lit alleyway, and their attention is caught by what sounds like some sort of fight going on. The four of them stop in unison, backtracking a couple of steps to peer down the alleyway and see what's up. And maybe describing it as some sort of fight was a bit generous; from Thor's point of view, he sees three men crowded around one, slightly smaller man, pinning him to a wall. One of the three men is holding a knife to his throat, and smaller man doesn't look very happy about that fact.

"Hey!" Thor calls, turning to start down the alley without so much as a thought. "Let that man go!"

The three bigger men turn to look over, and one of them literally jumps back, but the other two just seem a little bit shocked. The smaller man, on the other hand, looks ecstatic. Thor hears Valkyrie crack her knuckles behind him and murmur, "Midgard isn't so boring after all."

"What, are you gonna make me?" The man holding the knife says, like an idiot.

"I'd rather not have to. But, if need be..."

"Just back off, man. It's none of your business," knife man says. Then, reaffirming his place as an idiot, "Who the hell do you even think you are?"

"I'm Thor," Thor says.

Suffice to say, idiot knife man doesn't believe him. Maybe it's too dark or something. Knife man answers, "Yeah, and I'm the Queen of England. So you took a couple steroids, went to the gym. Doesn't make you the god of thunder."

Bruce pokes his head out from behind Thor and says politely, "No, he really is Thor."

"And who are you? The frickin Hulk?" The knife man says, laughing. 

Thor just looks at Bruce and sighs. Then he turns back to the knife man--maybe he should ask for the man's name, knife man is a terrible title--and says, "Believe me or not, I'm still going to have to ask you to leave that guy alone. Like, look at him, he's probably never even thrown a punch before, it's not even a fair fight." Then, as an afterthought, he looks at the guy against the wall and says, "No offense."

The guy against the wall waves a hand nonchalantly, "None taken. You're totally right."

Thor gives him a nod, then looks at knife man and takes another step forward. "Last warning, let the small man go."

Luckily enough, knife man drops smaller man and takes a couple of steps away from him. "Fine, but not because I really think you're Thor, I'm not an idiot, I know you're not," he says, pointing at Thor accusingly with the knife even while he backs away. "It's just...You're arms are really big, and the chick behind you's creeping me out, so...I'm out."

As knife man turns to run away, followed by his associates, Thor turns to look back at Valkyrie, wondering what she'd been doing to creep the guy out. She just shrugs.

"Well that was disappointing," Loki comments. 

He turns back around to make sure the smaller man hadn't been injured, but smaller man is already running past him, out of the alley and down the sidewalk. Thor shrugs and turns to continue down the path to the hotel, turning to look over at Valkyrie and saying, "What was that story you were telling us?"

"Oh, right," Valkyrie says with a nod. She picks up right where she left off, "So my foot's totally stuck in there, right? I'm freaking out, the dog's having a seizure, and I've still got half a pie left--"

"Wait, what?" Bruce interrupts. "What kind of story is this?"

"Um, a great one, if you don't interrupt."

"You missed the start of it, didn't you?" Thor asks knowingly.

Bruce opens his mouth to answer, then shuts it again and nods. "Yeah, I kinda zoned out."

* * *

One more block down Thor makes them all stop so he can pet a dog that passes by them on the street. (The woman walking the dog is great, she recognizes them, unlike idiot knife man. And apparently the dog is something called a labradoodle, and it's name is Captain America.) Then Loki makes them stop because he finds a lengthy piece of yarn in the road. ("What d'you need a string for?" "Reasons." "Not at all suspicious.") Eventually, thought, they make it back to the hotel.

And it's once they're there that they discover the hotel has a pool, so they leave again to go see if they can't buy swimsuits somewhere.

A little under an hour later, and they return to the hotel, shopping bags in hand. They head back to the rooms and quickly change into the swimsuits they bought, then head down to the outdoor pool, only to discover via a sign on the doors that the hotel pool closed roughly two hours ago. Whoops. 

Bruce is ready to head back to the rooms when he reads the sign, suggesting they come back in the morning or something. Which, of course, just won't do. Valkyrie glances over each shoulder, then swiftly hops the gate into pool area. Thor catches Bruce's eyes widening in shock, as if that sort of behavior is at all surprising, which it's totally not. A second later, Loki's over the gate, too. 

"Come on, you two," Valkyrie says, gesturing for them to join.

"I dunno if this is such a good idea," Bruce answers, glancing over both of his shoulders like he's expecting someone to be watching them. "Why don't we just come back in the morning?"

"Because then we ran to get the swimsuits for nothing," she says. "Besides, aren't roadtrips about spontaneity?"

"You guys are just gonna keep using that against me, huh?"

"Yup."

They laugh and Thor glances away from Valkyrie back to Bruce, trying to figure out whether he's really uncomfortable with the idea, or just unsure. He leans over and half whispers, "If you really don't want to, we can come back later."

But apparently that reassurance that he doesn't have to is all it takes for Bruce to decide that he wants to. He glances over at the pool, then looks back to Thor and nods with a comical sort of determination. "Nah, they're right. It'll be fun."

Of course, as it turns out, Bruce doesn't have the first idea about how to hop a fence. As he watches him try, Thor finds himself wishing he'd let Stark give him a Midgardian phone, just so he could record it forever. He stifles his laughter and moves towards the gate, putting his hand beneath Bruce's scrambling foot and giving him a boost up. Once he's over the gate, however, there's nothing Thor can do for him. And, for whatever reason, Bruce seems to decide his best way down is to just. Let go. 

He hits the ground with a thud, then jumps up to his feet as if nothing happened. Thor and the others silently decide to pretend not to have seen a thing, although he and Valkyrie exchange quiet grins.

Once Bruce is clear, Thor follows them over the gate. Loki and Valkyrie are standing by the edge of the pool, and Thor sees his opportunity and decides to seize it. He winks at Bruce, then charges forward at top speed, tackling both Loki and Valkyrie at once, and sending all three of them tumbling into the pool. Over the sound of splashes he hears a distinct, "Fuck you!" and can't tell if it's from his brother or Valkyrie. Maybe both. He also hears, slightly muffled now that he's underwater, the distant sound of Bruce just cackling. 

He swims back up to the surface just in time to see Bruce shout, "Cannonball!" and leap into the pool. 

Thor opens his mouth to say something, but before he can get a word out Loki flicks his hand forward in the water, effectively splashing Thor in the face. Thor's not even sure if he's laughing or coughing as he spits out the water, turning to Loki to declare, "If it's war you want, brother, it's war you shall have," before hitting Loki with the biggest splash of water he could create.

While Loki's spluttering, Valkyrie cuts in with a half-smile, "Hey! He's pasty and defenseless, pick on someone your own size!" Then her hands are on Thor's shoulders, attempting to shove him under the water.

Thor moves to swim away, but she catches him in a headlock. In reality, he could get himself out, they're just playing so she's not even holding him that hard. Instead he raises a hand to wave to Bruce, calling out, "Banner! I need backup!"

Bruce laughs and starts to swim over, which is of course when Loki hits him with a splash of water. Thor breaks free of Valkyrie's grip and launches forward, countering the attack by tackling Loki underwater again. Or at least, he thinks he does. But he hits nothing, and instead just heads underwater by himself. When he swims back up and looks around, Loki's sitting on the edge of the pool, legs in the water and a shit-eating grin on his face. Thor shakes his head and says, "Really? Illusions?"

"I'll stop using them the day they stop working," Loki answers.

Thor looks over at Bruce and gives him a subtle nod, then turns back to Loki and asks, "Yeah, well can your illusions protect you from this?"

Loki waits. Thor doesn't even move to do anything, he just stays in his spot watching Loki with an expectant grin, while Bruce quietly slips out of the pool and tiptoes behind Loki. After a couple of seconds of waiting, Loki blinks and says, "Protect me from what?"

"That," Thor says, gesturing behind Loki.

Just when Loki turns to see what Thor means, Bruce puts his hands on Loki's shoulders and pushes him forward, sending him back into the pool. Then Bruce loses his footing, and he's hurling into the water as well. When Loki resurfaces, sopping wet hair in his face so that he looks vaguely like the girl from The Ring, he turns to look towards Thor and just raises one hand, middle finger up, which just has the effect of making Thor and Valkyrie laugh even harder. 

Bruce is practically beaming when he emerges from the water, and Loki turns to look at him, expression blank as he moves to splash Bruce with more water. 

And of course, Thor isn't about to stand for a member of his team being attacked in that way. He immediately launches his counterattack, and then Valkyrie launches her counter counter attack, and then Bruce launches his counter counter counter attack. Within a couple of seconds they're all just splashing each other like maniacs, and it's become near impossible to tell who's splashing who. There's most likely some friendly fire happening, and then all teams are a thing of the past, and it becomes more of an every (wo)man for themself sort of battle.

Eventually the battle ends. There are no clear winners, mostly because all four of them are convinced it was themself that won.

A few moments later and they're all sitting in a row on the edge of the pool, feet in the water in front of them. Thor has one arm around Bruce's shoulder and he moves to put the other across Valkyries, but she shoves his arm off her so he just moves his arm to sit in his lap instead. A second later Valkyrie slings her arm across his shoulders, and Thor just smiles, deciding it best not to comment.

He also decides not to comment when Bruce leans over and rests his head on Thor's shoulder. Instead he just tilts his head to rest atop Bruce's.

The four of them kind of just sit together in comfortably silence for a few minutes, and then Bruce clears his throat and says, "I'm sorry, but I gotta know. Is Loki gonna strangle one of us with that piece of yarn? Is that why you picked it up, Loki?"

"Don't be ridiculous," Loki says with a scoff.

Bruce sighs with relief and murmurs, "Oh, thank god."

Then Loki adds, "There's so many more interesting ways to kill someone with yarn than just strangling them."

Bruce's head jolts up off of Thor's shoulder and he turns to look over at Loki, eyes wide with alarm. Thor chuckles and says, "He's just kidding. Loki, tell him you're just kidding."

"Thor, are you asking me to  _lie,"_ Loki asks, like a little shit, his hand flying sarcastically over his heart in feigned surprise.

"I call dibs on not sharing a room with Loki tonight," Bruce says.

They all get a good laugh out of that, but before anyone can say anything else a voice from across the courtyard hollars at them, "Hey! Pool's closed, you're not supposed to be in there!"

"Oh, is the pool closed?" Loki asks, as if he's shocked.

"You know it is!" The hotel employee shouts back, making his way over to the gate. "You had to hop this damn gate to get in there!"

"We thought the door was jammed," Valkyrie offers with a shrug.

"And the sign on the door that clearly says 'closed'?" the employee counters.

"What sign?" Bruce asks.

"It's right fucking here! It says, 'Pool Closed.' In bright red letters."

"Is that what that sign says?" Thor replies. "Sorry about that, we can't read. In fact, we're blind."

Out of the corner of his eye, Thor sees Loki face palm, and Valkyrie turn to look at him with both frustration and disbelief. Yeah, he had to admit, that was kind of a terrible lie. But it was totally worth it to see the hotel employee trying not to combust with his anger. "Blind?! You are  _not_ blind, you're looking right at me!"

"Are we?" Thor says, turning to look slightly to the left of the employee. He holds his hands out, absently feeling around like he's trying to find something. "Where are you?"

"I'm calling the cops," the employee says flatly.

"Busted," Thor says. At the same time Valkyrie says, "Let's make a break for it."

The four of them all jump to their feet, sprinting for the other end of the gate. The employee scrambles for his keys, unlocking the door and running into the pool area just as they make it over the other end of the gate. Thor waves a quick goodbye to the employee, and the four of them run off into the night, ducking around the first corner that they find. 

When they reach their rooms they slip inside as quick as they can, which isn't that quick considering how annoying hotel room keys are, and then slam the door shut, leaning their backs against the wall in complete silence. A second later a pair of footsteps sounds just outside, and then fade away as the employee runs past their door, and down towards the next building. Once the footsteps have faded completely, they wait a couple more seconds, then collapse into fits of laughter. Thor's actually laughing so hard there's not even sound coming out anymore, and he catches a tear escaping Bruce's eyes from his own laughter.

There's no going to sleep after that, they're all still too energized. So they all pile onto one of the beds together--they don't all fit that well, even with all of them laying at least partially on top of each other, Thor's left leg still dangles over the edge of the bed--and turn on the television. 

The film that's playing, Bruce tells them, is one called  _Mamma Mia!_ Thor's a little surprised when the characters start singing and dancing, but he kind of likes it. Loki complains that it's unrealistic, but he also nods his head along to the beat of one of the musical numbers, so Thor's not sure how much truth there is to Loki's cynicism. 

"I'm sorry, I just," Bruce says, interrupting the scene where Sophie dives into the ocean to climb onto the boat so her three potential dads don't sail away. "I really wanna know what the piece of yarn is for."

"Don't worry about it," Loki says.

His voice probably sounds casual to everyone else. But Thor, who's been hearing that voice practically his whole life, catches the little change in tone that indicates Loki's trying to stop himself from laughing. 

Admittedly, Thor's also burning with curiosity about why Loki felt the need to stop in the road to pick up a piece of yarn they just happened to pass by. But he knows better than to ask by now. Firstly, because even if Loki is planning something, he's certainly not about to tell any of them what it is. Secondly, because Thor's starting to believe he's not even planning anything with the string, and that he just picked it up to make them wonder why he picked it up. That asshole.

They go quiet and their attention goes back to the movie for a few more minutes, and then Bruce looks over at Loki and says, "I'm worrying about it. Come on man, why d'you need the string?"

Loki holds an index finger to his lips and shushes Bruce. "You'll know soon enough, Banner."

"That's just maddeningly cryptic," Bruce says. "And a little bit ominous."

"You just summed up Loki," Valkyrie comments. "Now shut up, both of you. I'm trying to figure out which man is her dad."

"Speaking of," Thor says, sitting up a little. "Does anyone else think Bill looks familiar?"

"Are you gonna tie one of our shoelaces together with it?" Bruce asks.

"My bet's on Harry," Valkyrie says, ignoring them. "He was the coolest, even if he is a wuss now."

"Why wouldn't I just tie your shoelaces together with the existing laces?" Loki says, looking at Bruce with his eyebrows furrowed, almost as if he's offended by Bruce's suggestion.

Thor looks back and forth between them, then says, "No, seriously. Bill. Why do I feel like I've seen him before?"

"But then it could be Sam," Valkyrie says thoughtfully.

"I dunno, fine. But you're gonna use it to tie something to something it's not supposed to be tied to, aren't you?" 

"That's quite possibly the dumbest idea I've ever heard," Loki answers.

"Did he act in another Midgardian film? 'Cause I haven't seen that many," Thor says. 

"I know! You're gonna tickle someone with it?"

"Yes, Banner, I picked up the string to tickle someone."

"Really?"

"Of course not!"

"Don't yell at me."

"Maybe all three are her dad," Valkyrie continues. She's probably not even listening to them bicker. "Is that possible on Midgard? Can all three be her dad?"

"I know I've seen that face somewhere before," Thor says, narrowing his eyes as Bill appears on screen again. 

* * *

By the time the movie ends, all four of them have fallen asleep. Thor wakes up some time later, and the hotel room is quiet apart from the sound of Bruce and Loki's breathing, Valkyrie's snoring, and an infomercial for an automatic banana peeler playing in the background. He's not sure how long the movie's been over, or how long everyone's been asleep for, but when he glances at the digital clock on the nightstand it blinks 4:32 AM. 

Thor's not sure what it was that woke him up, but now that he is awake, he finds his mind drifting again. There's no one awake to bounce jokes off of, and infomercials are hardly attention holding, so there's not a whole lot to stop Thor's thoughts from heading back into unwanted territory. 

He can't sleep. Again.

He shuts his eyes again and tries to fall back asleep for a moment, but grows impatient when it doesn't work. Sighing softly, he cautiously slips out from under Bruce's arm and Loki's leg, careful not to wake them up. Once he's free he tiptoes towards the sliding glass door at the other end of the hotel room, opening it slowly. He looks over his shoulder to check that he hasn't woken anyone, then ducks out onto the room's balcony, shutting the door behind him. There's a railing surrounding the balcony and Thor rests his forearms on it, looking out at the view of the town with a wistful sigh.

The air outside is somewhat chilly, but not cold. There's a single gray cloud hovering just below the crescent moon, but other than that the skies are clear. It's quiet, the only sound in the distance is the odd car whisking past the nearest road.

To someone who isn't trying to avoid being stuck with their own thoughts, the quiet and solitude would probably be nice. Peaceful.

To Thor it's kind of terrible; he finds himself wishing they were on the road again. He actually has been having fun on this trip. It's nice to see his friends so happy, and he's been genuinely happy, too. But without Loki's taunting, or Valkyrie's challenges, or Bruce's fun facts to distract him, he can't help but revert back to the mopey version of himself, which was what had motivated Bruce to invite him along on this adventure in the first place. 

He almost jumps when he hears a noise behind him, and he turns to see Bruce standing behind him, the sleeves of his sweater pulled over his hands, rubbing the sleep from his eyes with the heel of his palm. "Thor?"

"I'm sorry, did I wake you?" Thor asks, flushed with a sudden guilt. Or rather, more guilt added to what he was already feeling.

"No," Bruce says, and Thor can't tell if it's a lie or not. He makes his way over to Thor, leaning against the railing next to him, and peering out at the road beneath them. "Can't sleep again?"

"I just really wish I'd stayed awake to find out who Sophie's dad is," Thor jokes.

Bruce snorts, shaking his head ever so slightly. "Spoiler alert: they don't actually figure it out."

"What? All that build up and they don't tell you? That's terrible."

"I know, right? I guess it's supposed to show that it doesn't matter who you're really related to, because family is who loves you," Bruce says. Then he sighs and adds, "But whatever, they still could've told us."

"I'm still sure I've seen Bill before," Thor mumbles, looking back out at the view below.

"Wanna tell me what you're doing out here?" Bruce asks, sidestepping a little closer and nudging Thor with his shoulder.

"Just thought some fresh air would help," Thor says with a shrug. "Did you know Midgard's air isn't actually that fresh?"

"Well, there's a lot of air pollution in towns and stuff, yeah," Bruce says. "Hey, here's better than New York, at least."

"True. It's definitely better than Sakaar."

"You can say that again." Bruce pushes himself away from the railing and moves to sit on top of the balcony table. "But it's not just the ending to  _Mamma Mia!_ that's bugging you. You can talk to me, Thor, you know that. Well, I hope you do, anyway."

Thor turns so he can look at Bruce, leaning his back against the railing instead. He thinks for a couple of seconds, because yeah, theoretically he knows he can talk to Bruce. Bruce is his teammate and, more than that, Bruce is his friend. He could probably say anything and Bruce would be supportive. But that doesn't change the way he is; raised not to show weakness in front of an enemy because, well, it's weakness, and not to show weakness in front of an ally, because he's supposed to be Thor the God of Thunder, King of Asgard, and that means being strong, and a rock for others to lean on. Grown not to show weakness, because he's seen how people rely on his optimism and compassion. It's difficult to open up about his own weaknesses after all this time.

Heimdall would tell him that's foolish, and that even a king can have weaknesses. He'd probably say something poetic like, "It's not his strengths that makes a man great, but the way he handles his weaknesses." And then Thor would feel alright again, because Heimdall was always right, and always kind.

But Heimdall isn't around anymore. Thor couldn't protect him. Or any of the other Asgardians that Thanos had murdered on their own ship. Or any of the Asgardians that Hela had killed during her tirades, while Thor was stuck on Sakaar. 

He sighs, glancing at Bruce for a moment before looking back up at the sky and muttering, "I miss Heimdall."

"I'm sorry," Bruce says. Not like how most people apologize to you when you tell them your bad news, Bruce not only sounds like he actually means it, he doesn't sound like it's coming from pity. "You two were close, huh?"

"You might say that," Thor half-laughs, nodding and looking back at Bruce. He thinks about trying to define what Heimdall was to him, but the closest thing he can think of is 'best friend' and that's just not enough. Heimdall was something akin to a best friend, if that best friend was also a role model, who was always telling you what to do almost to the point of being annoying, but always had great advice nonetheless, and somehow always helped to stop your planet from falling into chaos or being destroyed by whatever the latest threat was. Thor sighs and says, "Heimdall was always there for us when Odin couldn't be. Or wasn't."

"Us?" 

"Me," Thor says. "Loki. Asgard, even if they didn't know just how much."

"He got along with Loki?"

"When we were younger Loki would bring Heimdall gifts, and he would give Loki advice on whatever harmless prank he was planning," Thor says. Then he glances at Bruce and adds with a shrug, "Of course, the ones that involved stabbing or something Heimdall didn't help with."

"Asgardian childhoods are weird."

"No weirder than Midgardian childhoods," Thor says. Bruce raises an eyebrow skeptically. "Once a year you tell your children that a stranger who's been watching them all year is going to break into their homes and leave boxes with unknown objects inside, and that they should reward that behavior with baked goods."

Bruce just nods. "Okay, I guess when you describe it that way."

They fall into silence for a couple of seconds then, either looking down at their feet or up at the stars above. After a moment Bruce asks, "What's the Asgardian belief on what happens when someone dies?"

"There are four places one might spend the afterlife," Thor says with a small shrug. "There's Helgafjell, or the Holy Mountain. That's where you go if you've lived a good life, but you didn't die in battle. Then there's Hel. I'm sure you'll remember that one, where my sister broke out of to lay waste to Asgard and probably everything else. You can probably figure out for yourself that one's not fun."

"Yeah, no, it sounds like a ball," Bruce deadpans. 

"And of course, there's Valhalla. For the bravest of warriors, fallen in battle," Thor says. "And Folkvangr. That one's also for brave warriors."

"Hm, Asgard must like it's warriors."

"Yep," Thor hums. 

"What's the difference between Valhalla and Folkvangr?"

"Odin is in Valhalla, he chooses half of the fallen to dine in his halls forever. And Frigga is in Folkvangr, she chooses half of the fallen spend eternity with her," Thor says. He folds his arms across his chest and glances down at his feet. This isn't the first time he's thought about this. How heartbroken Odin had been when they lost Frigga, and what this particular Asgardian belief, if it's actually true, means for Thor's parents. "They'll never see one another again."

They fall into silence again, and Thor takes in a deep breath and turns to look back down at the road. A gray car whisks by, headlights on and windows down, he catches a second of the music coming from their radio before they're gone. He kind of wonders where they're going. 

He hears a shuffling behind him and assumes Bruce is going back inside to go back to sleep. He doesn't blame him, it's late and they've probably got a long drive ahead of them tomorrow. Instead he feels a hand on his shoulder, as Bruce attempts to turn him back around. A little confused, Thor does as Bruce indicates and turns to look at him. Which is when Bruce wraps his arms around Thor, bringing him into a hug. Thor's not  _not_ a hugger, but he's a little taken aback by this, so his arms awkwardly hover just above Bruce, uncertain whether to hug back or not.

"Um, what's this?" Thor asks.

"I'm hugging you."

"No, I know what a hug is," Thor says. He's looking down at Bruce, but Bruce isn't looking at him, he's just buried his face in Thor's chest. "I meant, what are you hugging me for?"

"Because you need one," Bruce says matter-of-factly. "Just hug me back."

Thor hesitates for a second, then nods and wraps his arms around Bruce. He allows his eyes to slide shut and rests his chin on top of Bruce's head, breathing in deeply and then slowly breathing out. And okay, maybe Bruce is right, just like he usually is, and maybe a hug is exactly what Thor needs right about now. And maybe he really, really, doesn't want to let go. 

He doesn't know how long they just stand there, in silence, holding each other on the balcony. But after awhile Thor makes himself let go. He steps back and says, "You should probably get some sleep. You are our only driver."

Bruce smiles, but doesn't move to go inside. "I'm not gonna sleep that well knowing you're out on the balcony brooding. Come on, try and get some rest, too."


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my dudes, what's the ship name for thor & bruce?? i've seen thunderscience, gammahammer, thorbruce, green lightning??? what is the truth????
> 
> (also, thanks for all ur support in the comments! y'all are so sweet ur comments really make me smile, and i'm so glad ur liking the story so far!)

When they go to bed, Thor and Bruce wordlessly climb into the vacant bed in the room together, as quiet as possible so as not to disturb Valkyrie or Loki. They were on completely separate sides of the bed, but somehow when Thor wakes up, Bruce is using Thor's shoulder as a pillow, and his arm is draped across Thor's chest like he's cuddling a teddy bear. In complete contrast, when Thor glances over at where Loki and Valkyrie were sharing a bed, he only sees Valkyrie there, limbs sprawled out across the entire bed. After some looking, he finds Loki sound asleep on the floor with a single pillow.

Thor does his best to stifle his chuckle at the image his head produces of Valkyrie shoving Loki out of the bed in her sleep and Loki not even noticing, not wanting to wake anyone up. The digital clock on the nightstand blinks 10:36 AM.

He's trying to figure out a way to extract himself from underneath Bruce without waking him--not that it's not actually kind of nice to be held or whatever, just that he has a feeling Bruce'll be embarrassed if he woke up cuddling Thor, and Thor doesn't want to embarrass him--when Bruce stirs. His brow furrows slightly, eyes still closed, and his hand moves a little, then pats Thor's chest a few times. That's when he seems to realize that his pillow isn't, in fact, a pillow, but a Thor. 

Bruce looks over at Thor then sits up, shaking his head and running a hand through his hair. He coughs a little awkwardly and says, "Heh, sorry, man."

"No worries," Thor says, torn between laughing and feeling as awkward as Bruce. 

"I'm, uh, a cuddler I guess," Bruce says with a slight chuckle.

"Hey at least you don't snore," Thor tells him with a smile. Then, looking pointedly at Loki's place on the ground he adds, "Or kick."

Bruce follows Thor's gaze, then puts a hand over his mouth, presumably to suppress a laugh of his own. He tosses the blankets off of his legs and swings his legs over the edge of the bed, looking back and forth between Loki and the clock. "We should probably wake them up soon."

"Hm, you don't wanna wake up Loki unless you're stab-proof," Thor says, mostly joking. Of course Loki isn't going to stab anyone, he left all his knives back at the Avengers Compound. He climbs out of bed and steps towards Loki's place on the floor, narrowing his eyes at his brother momentarily, before sticking out his foot and carefully nudging Loki in the ribs repeatedly with his toe. "Loki, wake up. Wake up, Loki. Loki. Loki."

Loki grumbles and rolls away from Thor's foot, but doesn't actually wake up. He decides to rethink his tactic, and moves his foot, coming about a centimeter away from poking Loki in the nose with his toe. Just before he can, though, Loki's eyes shoot open and he grabs Thor's ankle and yanks. Thrown unexpectedly off balance, Thor hobbles for a second before falling flat on his ass--a plan which backfires on Loki, as it's Loki's legs that Thor's entire weight lands on. He hears a faint groan followed by, "You're the worst brother in the entire galaxy."

"Thank you," Thor answers, grinning smugly as he settles more comfortably on top of Loki's legs.

"Whichever one of you woke me up," Valkyrie's muffled voice is heard from somewhere above; the noise of Thor's fall was probably enough to wake her, although she doesn't sound happy about it. "I'm going to personally kick your ass."

"Loki did it," Thor says quickly, not unlike a guilty toddler. At the same time and in the same manner, Loki says, "Thor did it."

"Fine, I'll kick all your asses."

Bruce shyly raises a hand, despite the fact Valkyrie still hasn't unburied her fact from her pillow and can't see him, and says, "I wasn't involved, will you kick my ass? Because I'd really rather...you didn't."

"You're good, Brucey."

"Thank you."

"Traitor," Thor says, shaking his head at Bruce in mock disdain.

Bruce laughs and rolls his eyes, holding out a hand towards Thor to help him up off the floor. Thor doesn't technically need the help, but he takes Bruce's hand anyway and sits back down on the bed, kicking Loki one more time for good measure. Loki sighs and pushes himself to his feet, dropping unceremoniously onto the bed next to him. The mattress bounces slightly from the motion, and Valkyrie mumbles a string of swearwords into her pillow in response. 

Loki ignores her swears, instead focussing on Thor and Bruce, lecturing them on waking him up so early in the morning, despite the fact he hasn't once looked at the clock to even know how early it is. 

Thor's not even really listening while Loki rants, he just kind of nods every now and then so it looks like he is. He has to suppress a smile when he sees Valkyrie behind him, sitting up to reach for a pillow, and then smacking him in the back of the head with it before dropping face first back into the mattress. Loki freezes, looking torn between confusion and offense, and turns to look at Valkyrie, laying there like she hadn't done anything. "What was that for?"

"I'm trying to sleep," she answers, without so much as moving.

"Alright, well why don't we"--Bruce gestures to himself, Thor, and Loki--"go grab breakfast someplace, and we can bring Val back something. Maybe some coffee. Definitely some coffee."

"Yaassss," Thor says.

Bruce blinks at him for a solid ten seconds, then says it in complete confusion, "Did...did you just say  _yaasss?"_

"Yeah, Starkson taught it to me. It's how the Midgardian youths express their approval of things."

"Peter isn't--Thor, listen--Know what, I'm not even gonna..." Bruce trails off with a sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose and shaking his head. Thor's pretty sure he got the slang right, though, so he doesn't see why Bruce is so confused. Bruce gets up and grabs the duffel he left on the armchair, then starts towards the bathroom. "I'm gonna get dressed, then we can talk breakfast."

* * *

Thor, Loki, and Bruce head out to find someplace to get breakfast. They end up in a building that's kind of small but surprisingly busy, with everyone from men in suits to unhappy looking teenagers walking in and out of the place; the sign above the door reads STARBUCKS. 

According to Bruce it's a very popular establishment on Midgard, in fact Bruce is shocked when Thor says he's never noticed one before, because apparently they "might as well be on every corner, that's how many there are." Still, Bruce goes on to say he's never actually bought anything there. So the three of them decide to trust the reputation of the place, and head inside to find some coffee for Val, and hopefully something good to eat for breakfast.

The menu is in sight the whole time, but when they reach the front of the line, none of them know what they want to order. The barista, a young looking woman with bright pink hair and a name tag reading Lisa, asks them with an overly chipper smile what she can get for them. Loki hums thoughtfully before asking, "What is this establishment known for best?"

Lisa laughs at that, like she thinks Loki's joking, but when none of them laugh with her the smile falters slightly. "Wait, are you serious? Uh, coffee? I could give you guys some recommendations if you want?"

"That'd be great," Bruce says, before Loki can answer.

"Awesome, okay," Lisa says, nodding at them, the chipper smile back in place. "Well what sorta drinks do you guys like? Are we thinking a frapp of some sort, or something warmer? Maybe a cappuccino?"

"What is this Frapp?" Thor asks.

"It's like a blended...Wait, sorry, have you actually not heard of a frapp before?" Lisa asks, and Thor and Loki both shake their heads. "Sorry, it's just. Like I figured everyone had, just cuz, I mean, I dunno, I just thought everyone had at least  _heard of_ them before. Can I ask where you're from?"

"Asgard."

Lisa laughs again, because despite the last two times she's thought they were joking being serious, she must think he's joking again. Thor just smiles at her, and when he doesn't explain further, Lisa narrows her eyes again, taking a small step forward and then a step back. "Wait, you're not kidding, are you? Holy--Are you--You're Thor! Oh. My. God. I mean, sorry, not like  _god_ , but I mean. Haha! My girlfriend's not gonna believe this. It's. I mean, big fan. Thanks for, y'know, saving the world and stuff. What is it, like three times now? Four? I mean. Wow."

"It's really not a big deal," Thor says, hoping to stop the rambling. Not that he doesn't love talking to the Midgardians and all that, they're usually very endearing; but there is a line behind them.

"Not at all," Loki says dryly. "Like, meeting a cockroach on the street is probably a bigger deal. Or a really boring human. Think of your least interesting human. Meeting that person is a bigger deal."

"Hmmm," Thor hums. "I dunno if I'd go that far. I mean, it's kind of a deal."

"Not even a little."

"Anyway," Bruce interrupts them before they can fall into petty sibling bickering; poor guy's probably put up with it enough, considering all the time they've spent in a car together the past few days. He shoots a pointed look at Thor and Loki, then turns back to Lisa with a polite smile and says, "So they've never heard of Starbucks yet, so if you could just tell us what's good, that'd be wonderful."

"Can do," Lisa nods. "Hm. My personal favorite is the hazelnut macchiato, you can get it hot or iced. Uh, the cafe americano is pretty popular. Hey, does Captain America order that one? Cuz, get it, americano? Sorry."

"A macchiato sounds great," Thor says with a smile. "I don't know what it means, but sounds great."

"Awesome!" She types something into the computer in front of her, then picks up a cup and scribbles something in marker onto the side. She looks up and laughs, "I almost asked what name I should put on the order! Isn't that funny?" Then she turns to Bruce and Loki, saying, "Okey dokey. What can I get for you two?"

"I'll have a chai latte," Bruce says with a shrug.

"Okay, can I get a name?" Lisa asks, holding her marker to a new cup.

"Bruce."

"Bruce. Wait, Banner? Who am I kidding, duh, Banner. Awww, the Avengers hang out outside of saving us from alien invasions, huh? That's so sweet," she continues to ramble as she writes on the cup, then sets it aside, looking to Loki with an expectant smile. Thor's not entirely sure if she blinks. Like ever.

Loki offers a smile that Thor's not entirely sure if it's meant to be patronizing or not, and replies, "Surprise me."

"Oh, and whatever your most caffeinated drink is for our friend back at the hotel," Bruce adds.

Lisa nods, writes something else down. Then they order four of the breakfast sandwiches from the display case. Before she tells them their total she says, "So like, I know this is kind of unprofessional, but can I  _please_ get a selfie?"

"No," Loki says, at the same time Thor smiles and says, "Sure!"

Lisa's ever present smile widens, and she pulls out her phone to get the pick. Bruce clears his throat and says, "I can take the pic for you if you want."

"What? No, don't be silly, I want you in it, too," Lisa says, turning her back to them and holding her phone out. 

Thor catches the little smile on Bruce's face, surprised but happy, before he turns to look into Lisa's phone. He holds up two fingers behind Lisa's head--an Earth photo custom he'd learned was called "rabbit ears"--and smiles. Bruce and Lisa also smile, meanwhile Loki offers at most a half-smirk, and then Lisa puts the phone away, a slight bounce in her step as she turns back to them. "Thanks so much! Alright, your drinks'll be at the bar down that way!"

"Thank you," the three of them say in a chorus, before moving down to the area where customers are waiting for their drinks.

A few minutes later they're walking out, carrying a styrofoam drinks tray and four paper bags containing their sandwiches.

When they get back to their hotel room, Valkyrie is, unsurprisingly, still asleep. The only difference in the room is that she's tossed another pillow and the comforter onto the floor in her sleep. 

"Okay, who wants to incur the wrath of Valkyrie and wake her up?" Bruce asks, pushing the door shut behind him.

"I'll do it," Thor says with a grin, passing the drink tray to Bruce, who looks at him skeptically. "I know the perfect way, it always worked on Loki when he wouldn't wake up."

As he starts towards Valkyrie's bed he hears Loki whisper to Bruce, "He's a dead man."

Thor chuckles and charges forward, jumping energetically onto the bed, causing the mattress to bounce hectically up and down. Valkyrie groans but doesn't lift her head. Thor reaches out a hand and starts poking her nose, repeating, "Wake up. Wake up. Val, wake up. Wake up." Her nose twitches, but she continues to ignore him. The stakes raised, Thor moves to sit on top of her back, because that really did always work on Loki. He continues, "Wake up. Wakey wakey eggs and bakey. That's the phrase, right Banner? Eggs and---"

He's cut off abruptly as Valkyrie sits up, throwing him off of her back and onto the floor with a heavy  _thump_. She shoots him a look that reminds him of the saying if looks could kill, which he just matches with a pleased grin, then she turns to look at Loki and Bruce still standing in the doorway. "You better have breakfast in one of those bags, or I'm going to be livid."

"What d'you know, we have breakfast in these bags," Bruce says, holding out the paper bag with Valkyrie's sandwich in it to her. He takes her drink out of the holder and holds that out too. "We also got you caffeine."

"You're an angel, Bruce," Valkyrie says, accepting both the drink and the food. She holds the cup up to her face and just shuts her eyes.

"He did say  _we_ got you caffeine," Loki interjects, slightly indignant. She cracks one eye open at that and shoots him a glare, and Loki holds his hands up, palms forward, in surrender. "Fine. Bruce is an angel, and I won't talk."

"Bruce, you're an angel," Thor seconds when Bruce passes him his sandwich and drink. He doesn't even move to get off the floor, he just sits there. It's honestly more comfortable than you expect. 

* * *

When they're done with their breakfasts they climb into the car, and decide to find something fun to do in town for the day. They drive for maybe fifteen minutes before coming upon Bad Al's Bowling Alley. Valkyrie asks just what the fuck that is, her words not Thor's, and Bruce explains it as some kind of sport. It sounds kind of fun, and they pull into the parking lot and head inside.

The employee sells them a game, and makes them rent shoes--Thor kind of likes the aesthetic of the shoes, half red and half blue. Then they go to a row of shelves displaying bowling balls of different weights. Everyone grabs one, and they head to their lane.

"Okay, so what are the rules of this game?" Valkyrie asks, looking skeptically at the lane in front of them. 

"Um, everyone takes turns going up to the lane, and throwing the ball. The more pins you knock over the more points you get, whoever has the most points after ten turns wins," Bruce says, which sounds simple enough. He heads over to the table in front of the ally and taps the computer looking device that's there, then turns to look back at them. "But first, we need to enter nicknames."

Everyone chooses the nickname for everyone else. Which is how Thor ends up listed as Pikachu ("What does that mean, Banner?" "Shh, just go with it." "Is a pikachu cool?" "Totally." "Alright."), Loki is entered as Ms.Chief ("Get it, Loki? Mischief? Miss Chief?" "Yes, brother, I get it."), Valkyrie is entitled Wonder Woman ("But Valkyrie is already a nickname." "Yeah, but you haven't told us your name, and I love the Wonder Woman comics, so..."), and Bruce ends up Hot Stuff.

"Why Hot Stuff?" Bruce asks, completely confounded as Valkyrie types it into the screen.

"Because you are," she says with a shrug.

"She's right, you are," Thor adds without thinking. 

"Don't ask me," Loki says, shaking his head.

"Alright, Pikachu, you're up," Valkyrie says, pulling one leg up underneath her and gesturing towards the lane with a sarcastic air of drama.

One turn and a loud crash that luckily doesn't result in damage, but damn does it come close, and Bruce is explaining to them, "Okay. Maybe I should've mentioned when you throw the ball, it's supposed to  _roll_. You roll it down the lane to knock down the pins."

"Oops?"

Valkyrie, a.k.a Wonder Woman, is up next. One turn, a potentially louder crash later, and a pin that ricochets up into whatever is above the alcove the pins are in and doesn't come back down, and Bruce is just staring down the lane with wide eyes. Then he sighs, looking down at the floor and pinching the bridge of his nose while he shakes his head, murmuring, "Fucking forgot bowling pins aren't designed for Asgardian strength. Lucky the ball didn't go through the wall or something."

"That counts as a strike, right?" Valkyrie asks, smug as she plops back into her seat at the table. 

"I mean, yeah," Bruce says. 

Thor holds a hand up to Valkyrie, and she wordlessly brings up her own to high five him. Then it's Loki's turn to bowl, and he gets up with some slight nudging before starting towards the lane. Asshole didn't even change into his bowling shoes.

"Can we, uh," Bruce says, glancing at the pins quickly. "Can we throw, like, remembering these pins were designed for fragile human strength? I don't want to pay for the pins when you crack them, or send one through the wall or something."

It takes one or two more turns from each of them, but eventually they do get used to throwing with enough weight to actually make it to the pins, but also not. Well, completely ruin everything. Of course, even so Bruce is still losing. Thor feels a little bad and considers trying to miss on his next turn, but then Valkyrie would be beating him, and he doesn't feel  _that_ bad for Bruce, so instead he rolls a perfect strike. Which is like the exact opposite of trying to miss on his turn, but oh well.

Either way they have a good time, and when their ten turns are up and Valkyrie and Thor tie, they go up to the employee and pay to play another game. 

"Hey, if I win this round, can I drive the car?" Thor asks Bruce while Loki's taking his turn.

"No," Bruce says flatly.

"What if I win?" Valkyrie asks. "Can I drive?"

"Why would I say no to him and not to you?"

"Because I'm way cooler?" Valkyrie says with a shrug, as if her answer was obvious.

Thor opens his mouth to argue, but then he just mirrors her shrug, leaning back in his seat and admitting, "She is pretty cool."

"Neither of you are driving," Bruce says. His tone is kind of like a teacher trying to be firm with a couple of terrible students, but there's a hint of a smile at the corner of his mouth, like he's trying to suppress his amusement. "And before you ask, Loki's not driving, either."

"Who's Loki? I only know Ms. Chief," Thor says just as Loki returns to his seat at the table.

Loki doesn't even comment, he just smacks Thor in the shoulder. Valkyrie chuckles as she gets up and heads towards the lane, picking up her ball on the way. "You're a little too proud of that pun."

"I'm just the right amount of proud," Thor says.

"Not proud enough," Bruce corrects.

And Thor nods, saying, "Thank you Banner. Not proud enough."

"I'm proud of you," Bruce says with a slight laugh.

"I'm proud of you, too."

"I hate you both," Loki says.

* * *

After bowling it's lunch at a pizza place--pizza is one of Thor's personal favorites when it comes to Midgardian foods--then they go to the movie theater. There're a lot of movies to choose from and, knowing absolutely nothing about any of them, they just go with the one with the most interesting title. It ends up being a comedy about an office worker with an overly eccentric boss; it includes a scene in which the boss asks for an alpaca sweater and, through some miscommunication, the employee shows up in her office with an alpaca wearing a sweater.

The movie itself is funny, Thor discovers what popcorn is, and it's twice as nice to hear Valkyrie, Loki, and Bruce laughing along in the theater. So, all in all, it's a lot of fun. 

By the time they're leaving the sun's already beginning to set, although just barely. They pick up takeout from a small little Chinese place on the corner and head back to their hotel rooms to eat dinner. 

They all sit down at the room's balcony table to watch the sunset while they eat. After a minute or so of eating in silence Bruce nudges Thor and comments, "I still can't believe Loki beat you in bowling."

"He beat you, too, so I wouldn't be so smug," Thor says, exaggerating a scowl.

"Yeah, but I'm no good at sports," Bruce chuckles. "You on the other hand, you're supposed to be good at stuff."

"Emphasis on the supposed to," Loki says, not even looking up from his plate.

Thor throws a peanut at him, because he's mature like that. The peanut bounces off of Loki's nose, and Thor doesn't even try to hide his laughter as Loki looks up at him with narrowed eyes. Valkyrie takes one look at Loki's completely unamused expression and literally guffaws.

Loki flicks a grain of rice at her, and naturally she moves to retaliate, but before she can Bruce leans forward, hands out as if to stop her. She stops hesitantly, looking over at Bruce with obvious annoyance. She slowly reaches for the food she was getting ready to throw again, and Bruce snaps his hand, holding out an index finger like a disapproving parent. "Don't."

"Why not?" Valkyrie--well Thor doesn't want to say it's a whine, but yeah, she whines.

"Because I'm not putting up with a full on food fight," Bruce says, like it should be obvious.

"Thor started it!" Valkyrie and Loki say in unison, pointing at Thor like the traitors they are.

"Did not," Thor answers. Bruce shoots him a look, and he's honestly not sure if it's disappointment or disapproval. Thor smiles innocently and says, "Alright, I might have started it."

"Children," Bruce says, shaking his head. "I'm on a roadtrip with the biggest children in the galaxy."

"Yeah, but we're fun children," Valkyrie remarks.

Bruce just shakes his head and shoves another forkful of chow mein into his mouth. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you guys liked! sorry if the ending is kind of abrupt? i wanted 2 update cuz i haven't in awhile, lol. again, thanks for all ur kind words in the comments! have an awesome day/night/whatever time it is for you


	6. Chapter 6

In the morning they check out of the hotel they've been staying in, then head down the street for breakfast. As they're walking back towards the car, Loki stops them suddenly, saying, "Hang on, I've got to do something."

Varying looks of confusion and concern on their faces, they all stop in the middle of the sidewalk and watch as Loki walks up to one of the Midgardians, a middle aged balding man in an ill-fitting suit. Thor wonders if he should stop his brother, or at least accompany him so he can stop him quicker should the need arise. Instead he just stands there with Bruce and Valkyrie, as they watch Loki reach into his pocket and take out...the yarn? What the heck?

"I'm just trying to measure something quickly," Loki is saying, holding the piece of yarn out towards the stranger. "Would you terribly mind holding this for a moment?"

"Uh, sure dude," the Midgardian says, a little uncertain, but nodding and taking the end of the string nonetheless.

Then Loki continues around the corner. Thor, Bruce, and Valkyrie exchange a quick look before following after him. The car's parked that way anyway, after all.

When they round the corner, Loki's talking to a different Midgardian. A slightly older one, dressed in cargo shorts and an unfortunate t-shirt. Thor hears Loki telling him, "I'm just trying to measure something. Would you mind holding this for a moment?" This Midgardian agrees as well, taking the end of the string. Loki offers a charming grin, then says, "Thank you. I just have to grab a pen, I'll be right back."

Then he heads off down the sidewalk again.

"What the fuck," Valkyrie says, which is essentially what Thor was thinking.

The three of them follow him back to the car, looking over their shoulders every now and then back at the Midgardian, who can still be seen standing at the corner, holding the end of the piece of yarn.

Bruce unlocks the car while still staring over his shoulder at the corner, and the four of them pile inconspicuously into the car. They sit there in silence for a second, Bruce not starting it, and then he looks over his shoulder at Loki in the back seat, and says, "What the hell?"

"What?" Loki asks innocently.

Thor looks back at him too. He looks like he's trying not to laugh, and Thor gets the familiar feeling that his brother's pulling some joke that he's just not in on. He's a little less worried about this one--it seems mostly harmless, from where Thor's sitting--but enough of Loki's jokes have seemed mostly harmless before, so he has to ask. Also he's just really curious. "Brother, what was the point of that?"

Loki nods in mock understanding, as if he hadn't known the whole time they were asking about the string thing. Little shit. Then he offers half a smile, leans forward, and explains, "They both think I'm coming back."

Thor blinks, then looks at Bruce to see if he makes anything of it. He looks just as confused as Thor feels, though, so Thor turns back to his brother. Loki, seeing the bemusement on their faces, sighs in some sort of disappointment, but gives them the courtesy of explaining further. He says, "They're both just going to stand there waiting for me to come back." He pauses then adds with a giggle, "But I'm not going to."

Bruce and Thor both just keep staring at him in disbelief; meanwhile, in the seat next to him, Valkyrie snorts and holds up a hand for a high five. She says, "Good one."

"I," Bruce starts, then pauses and shakes his head. "I don't know what I was expecting, but that's not it."

"I did tell you I wouldn't kill you with the string," Loki says. "It's not my fault you made assumptions."

"Actually, you heavily implied you would kill him with the string," Thor points out.

"Okay, maybe I didn't deny it..."

"But why did you do that?" Bruce asks, gesturing towards the street corner, where the Midgardian is still standing, holding the piece of yarn. He's looking around in some slight confusion, but he doesn't look like he's leaving any time soon. Thor's starting to see some humor in it. "That doesn't even benefit you, you just slightly inconvenienced two strangers."

"On Midgard they call it a prank," Thor says, nodding sagely.

"I'm the only Midgardian in this car, I know what they call it on Midgard," Bruce says. Thor opens his mouth to respond, realizes he doesn't have a good answer, and shuts it again. Bruce adds, "It's just such a harmless prank."

Loki nods, but he's looking over Bruce's shoulder, at the confused look on the guy's face that's steadily growing in confusion. Thor looks from the guy back to Loki, who seems almost too amused by the mild inconvenience he's created, and finds himself wanting to laugh too. It feels like one of the stupid pranks Loki occasionally roped Thor into back when they were kids.

"Let's just be glad he has no string to kill you with now," Thor jokes.

"I don't need a string," Loki says back. Bruce looks back at Loki with a hint of alarm, and then Loki laughs, putting his hands up palms forward as a gesture of innocence. "Joking. Most likely."

"It's too early for this," Bruce says, placing his forehead on the steering wheel. He lifts it up and adds, "I guess it just didn't occur to me that 'God of Mischief' translates not only to dangerous crazy person with a long history of violence, but also to stupid pranks."

"Once when we were what's equivalent to teenagers on Asgard," Thor interjects, smiling fondly at the memory. "Father put Loki in charge of the seating for a theatre performance, and Loki strategically put the bald men in specific seats, so that when the lights came up, their shiny bald heads would reflect it and spell out swear words. Mother was so mad. Loki, do you remember that?"

"Now to be fair," Loki says, a slight smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. "Wasn't it you who taught me the words?"

"Yeah, well I told you not to tell mother or father. I think spelling them with noblemen's heads counts as telling them."

"I couldn't've spelled them if I didn't know them, though. Clearly I wasn't at fault there."

"Mmm, I seem to remember Odin disagreeing."

"His judgement was always skewed though..."

"So wait, what words did you teach him?" Valkyrie interjects, propping her foot up on the center console of the car.

"Don't answer that," Bruce tells Thor. 

Thor turns around so he can see Valkyrie better and says, "I'll tell you later." Then he throws a teasing look in Bruce's direction and adds, "Apparently Banner is too modest to hear such depravities."

"I'm starting the car."

* * *

For a good part of the drive Thor and Loki just regale Bruce and Val with tales of their shenanigans from when they were younger, earning either laughs or judgement or both. Valkyrie doesn't talk about her past often, but she does tell them a story about how she used to prank her girlfriend by putting fake spiders on her pillow in the mornings, because her badass warrior girlfriend was apparently afraid of spiders. 

It's nice to hear her tell them about her past, especially with a smile on her face. Even if that smile does turn bittersweet towards the end of the story, and her laugh kind of fades away.

Bruce must notice her face in the rearview mirror or something, because he seems to know to change the subject--they're not about to ask her anymore questions on the subject, it might push away the trust that they seem to have developed and she wouldn't tell them anything again. Besides, the cramped public environment of this car doesn't make it the best place for emotional heart to hearts anyway. Bruce puts on the turn signal as he says, "Y'know who else is terrified of spiders? Tony. I once saw him climb onto a table in the lab 'cause a spider showed up, and then I had to talk him out of shooting it with a blaster from his suit."

Bruce laughs at the memory, and the rest of them laugh along with him. Thor suppresses a smile and says in his best confused voice possible, "But if Stark is so frightened of spider, why did he adopt the spiderling boy?"

"Okay, first he didn't  _adopt_ the--" Bruce starts, cutting himself off half way to shoot a look at Thor, who tries his best but doesn't entirely succeed at suppressing his chuckles. He points an accusatory index finger at Thor, starts talking then stops again, turning to look back at the road and saying, "You little shit. You've known Peter isn't Tony's kid this whole time, haven't you? You're just fucking with me."

"Hey, that's one of the words I taught Loki," Thor says with a grin.

"Shit or fuck?" Valkyrie asks.

"Both," Thor and Loki say in unison.

"Stop avoiding the subject," Bruce says. "You totally knew Peter isn't Tony's kid--"

"Wait! Peter isn't Stark's kid?" Thor cuts him off with feigned surprise. He actually had initially thought Peter was Tony's son--with brains like that, and tech like that it wasn't an unreasonable leap to make--but he also had believed Bruce and Tony the first time they told him Peter wasn't, in fact, Tony's son. Still, it's funny to watch Bruce's reaction every time he says Peter is Tony's kid. He shakes his head and adds slightly softer, "Are you sure? I could've sworn..."

"Hold on," Bruce says, glancing over at Thor for a second before turning back to the road in front of him. "Hold on. How long have you known Tony's not Peter's dad? Spill."

"Stark's not Peter's dad?"

In the backseat, Valkyrie snorts.

"You've known the whole time, haven't you? Dude, what the hell?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," is what Thor  _tries_ to reply. But he's looking at Bruce's kind of adorable--he means hilarious, right? No, he kind of means adorable--angry face, and how his nose is kind of scrunched up, and Thor can't help but burst into laughter. "I'm sorry, man. It was just so funny."

"Explain?" Loki asks.

"The first time I properly met Stark's apprentice I thought he was Stark's son," Thor says, still laughing. "They told me he wasn't, but then Peter thought it was really funny, so we decided to see how long I could convince them I thought he was Stark's son."

"Peter was in on this!" 

"What? Of course not. I didn't just say that."

"I'm gonna sue."

"Not sure how Midgardian legal systems work," Valkyrie says. "But I don't really see a case here."

"But Tony doesn't know, right?" Bruce asks, sparing a quick glance towards Thor, who shakes his head. Bruce does a little air punch, grinning, and says, "Yes! I beat Tony to figuring something out!"

That doesn't sound like an entirely uncommon occurrence from Thor's perspective, they are both two very intelligent people after all. But Bruce is probably mostly joking, and also his enthusiasm is cute--Okay, Thor really has to stop calling Bruce cute in his inner monologue. It's getting weird now--so he doesn't comment. Instead he just smiles over at Bruce and says, in complete sincerity, "I'm proud of you."

Bruce looks back at Thor and smiles. "Aww, really?"

"Really really," Thor says with a nod. Bruce's smile grows a little.

"Can we focus on the road, maybe?" Loki asks, clearing his throat.

Bruce shakes his head a little and turns back to look at where he's driving. Thor's not driving, no matter how many times he's asked, but he looks back at the road too for whatever reason. After a couple of seconds of silence go by Bruce starts chuckling, and he says, "I can not believe you knew this whole time."

"I can," Thor says.

"Funny," Bruce replies.

"It is funnier than Loki's stupid string shenanigan," Valkyrie says, shooting Loki a disapproving look. Then she grins and looks back to the front to declare, "I love a long con."

"It was  _not_ better than my prank," Loki says, legitimately offended as far as Thor can tell.

"Kinda was."

"Thank you."

"Oh, don't sit there looking all smug just because you pulled one mediocre joke in 1500 years," Loki says, folding his arms across his chest with a comical sort of pout that really brings Thor back to the good old days.

"I'm not smug," Thor says, despite the fact that he probably is a little bit smug. But it's just so fun to bicker with Loki when there's not. Like. Any lives on the line. So he looks back at Loki in the rearview mirror and says, knowing exactly the response that he'll get, "I'm starting to think maybe I should be the God of Mischief, I mean if you're gonna keep slacking off about it. I can see it now: Thor, God of Hammers, Thunder, and Mischief."

"You take that back immedia--"

"It does have a nice ring to it," Bruce says, cutting off Loki's outburst. Thor takes one look at his expression and can immediately tell from the obvious smile that he's trying to suppress that Bruce knows exactly what he's doing.

Loki leans forward, pointing an index finger first at Bruce and then at Thor. "If you want to put that to the test--"

"Nope!" Bruce cuts him off again, shaking his head. "Nope, not funny anymore. I know where this is going, and no one is getting into a prank war in my car. I will turn this thing around."

"Isn't it technically Tony's car?" Valkyrie asks.

"Who's side are you on?" Bruce says, narrowing his eyes at her through the rearview mirror.

"We're choosing sides? Alright, I want Bruce on my team then," Thor says, patting Bruce's shoulder. 

"Thanks, but no."

"Very well," Thor says. "Valkyrie's on my team."

"I don't want to be your second choice."

"Well we can say you're my third choice, but I don't see how that'd be better..."

"I meant no, we're not choosing sides," Bruce says before Valkyrie can answer. "Because there's not going to be a prank war. No prank wars."

"Ohhhh," the three of them all say in unison, nodding slowly. Valkyrie clears her throat and says, "Well you could've just said so from the beginning."

"We're here!" Bruce shouts, turning into a parking lot. A little softer he says, "Oh thank god."

He parks the car and the four of them pile out. Thor looks around at the surrounding parking lot, and then at the building in front of them. "Where is here, exactly?"

"Dairy Queen," Bruce says with an excited little smile. Thor has no clue who the queen of dairy is, but he smiles back anyway. Bruce sticks his hands in his jacket pockets and explains, thankfully, "It's another chain restaurant. But like, a really good one. They do milkshakes and ice cream and stuff, and I thought it my duty as your Midgardian tour guide to make sure you tried at least one while on this trip."

Thor, Loki, and Valkyrie all nod, turning to look back at the building. They stare at it for a second before Loki asks, "And your queen of dairy resides inside? Does she make the ice cream?"

"Of course not, Loki," Thor says, shaking his head. "Queens on Midgard are more of figureheads. There's someone else in charge."

"Yeah, it's called a manager," Bruce says flatly. "Dairy Queen is just a name--Oh, so's Burger King, by the way. We're not going to one, but you might as well know. Anyway, it's just a restaurant. No royalty involved, just good food."

"Yeah, but you'll never know for sure if we actually didn't know that," Loki says, winking at Bruce before walking past him towards the door.

Bruce watches him walk past looking torn between confusion, resignation, and amusement. He opens his mouth to reply, but Loki's walked passed him already, and Bruce just sighs and gestures towards Thor and Valkyrie. He walks over to the door and holds the door open for the two of them, and they pass by, murmuring their thanks, and find Loki standing a little ways away from the counter, looking up at the menu on the wall.

Indecisive and uninformed as they are, they rely almost entirely on recommendations from Bruce. Then once they've placed their orders, they all pile into a booth in the corner. Valkyrie takes up a whole bench herself because she insists on having her legs across it. Rather than ask her to move them, Bruce just grabs a chair from a nearby table and pulls it up to their booth.

Bruce is right (as usual) and the Dairy Queen does serve exceptional food, even if Bruce does look somewhat anxious when they're handed their shakes and the employee working hands it over with a toss in the air for some inexplainable reason. 

Thor's really enjoying the milkshake he ordered, when he discovers that there's potentially, maybe something wrong with it. Was he poisoned? He's slightly concerned, sure, but he calmly leans over and taps Bruce on the shoulder, asking, "Quick question, hey. So am I being poisoned, or are stabbing headaches a customary part of the experience?"

He thinks he has good odds when Bruce just laughs at him. But then Bruce answers, "It's brain freeze."

"Brain fre--My brain is freezing?" Thor asks, raising his eyebrows and glancing quickly back over at his milkshake cup. "Is that some kind of disease? Are you laughing as a panic response?"

"Who's brain is freezing?" Valkyrie asks.

"Thor's," Bruce says, still laughing.

"Can you treat it?"

If Thor didn't know any better, he might say she sounds concerned when she asks. He doesn't know any better, and he's gonna say she sounds concerned when she asks. 

"What? No, I--"

"So it's fatal?" Loki interrupts, eyes widening.

"Only if it kills me," Thor points out. Loki's eyes just widen a little further. Thor scoffs and says, "Which it won't. Right, Banner?"

"It's not a disease, and yeah, you're fine," Bruce says. Which, Thor was kind of expecting it to be a disease, but he's fairly glad it's not. "Brain freeze is just the headache you get when you eat something cold too fast. It's from the cooling of the capillaries in your sinuses resulting in vasoconstriction, which is just narrowing of the blood vessels. It happens all the time."

"That's disappointing," Loki says, leaning back in seat as if he wasn't just very obviously concerned. Thor decides not to comment.

Bruce chuckles again, shaking his head and taking another bite of his ice cream. Then after a moment he asks, "Wait, so you guys have never had brain freeze before? Didn't you have ice cream on Asgard?"

"Well we had something similar called Brannmelk," Valkyrie says. "But it was considered a rarity."

"And also served on fire," Thor says, nodding. "Quite good, actually. Very nutritious."

"Hold on. You mean it was served on fire, or you ate it while it was on fire?"

"Yes."

"And you were worried about a headache?"

"Well Brannmelk never gave me a headache," Thor says, his tone very matter of fact. Bruce just blinks at him in some kind of disbelief for a second, then turns away and takes another bite of his ice cream. 

When everyone is done with their food they stack the dishes and trash on top of eachother at one end of the table, but no one really makes any move to get up or leave. They kind of just sit around at the booth for awhile longer, just chatting and sharing stories. After learning about Brannmelk, Bruce has a lot of questions about how the food on Asgard differed from the food on Earth. They're willing to entertain his questions, not because they really care that much about food differences. It's just that it gives them an excuse to talk about Asgard in a way that isn't. Well. Depressing.

After a little while, though, Bruce gets up and says, "Hang on. I'm gonna run to the car real quick to grab my toothbrush so I can brush my teeth."

Thor watches him go momentarily, then turns back to the others, absentmindedly picking up a sugar packet from the container on the table to fidget with. When he first turns around Loki and Valkyrie are whispering to each other totally not conspicuously at all whatsoever, and then when he looks up from the sugar packet he's batting back and forth on the table, they're both just staring at him with totally not suspicious smiles at all whatsoever. It's admittedly unsettling. 

He's contemplating whether he even wants to ask what they're up to when Valkyrie comments, "Sooo. You and Bruce."

"What?"

"You know," she says, shrugging casually. Which is entirely an unhelpful response, because Thor does not, in fact, know. He just blinks at her for a couple of seconds and when he doesn't say anything she rolls her eyes and says, "You like him. Right?"

"What kind of a question is that? Of course I do," Thor says, laughing a little. "He's probably my best friend, and a remarkable scientist."

"I told you he was impossible," Loki comments dryly. He turns to Thor and says, "She means you  _like_ him."

"I've already said I do."

"Is he serious?" Valkyrie asks Loki.

"Afraid so," Loki says.

Before either of them can say anymore weird things, Bruce walks back up to the table. He grabs the jacket he left on the chair he'd been sitting in, rooting around in the pockets and saying with a sunshiney smile, "My toothbrush was in the pocket, that's so funny. What're we talking about?"

"They were asking me if I like you," Thor says with a laugh, and Loki and Valkyrie both look shocked for some reason.

Actually, kind of so does Bruce. He bites his lip momentarily, glancing over at Loki and Valkyrie, and then back at Thor. "And, uh, what'd you tell them?"

"That you're my best friend," Thor says, fairly sure that was the obvious answer. He doesn't really get why Bruce even had to ask, but he especially doesn't get why the smile on Bruce's face looks slightly disappointed when he says it.

"Oh. Thanks," Bruce says, shrugging his jacket on. "I'mma go brush my teeth and then we can hit the road, kay?"

Thor watches Bruce walk off again with a slight frown. He hears either Val or Loki, he's not paying enough attention to tell who, murmur, "That was a disaster." But he's really just preoccupied with why Bruce had seemed let down when Thor called him his best friend. That's kind of a weird reaction. Maybe he's just reading too much into things, but that's not a habit he usually has.

He doesn't think too much about it, because eventually Bruce shows back up from brushing his teeth, and the four of them make their way back outside. They're not in the parking lot for more than three seconds before Valkyrie asks, "Can I drive?"

"No," comes Bruce's immediate answer.

"Can I drive?" Thor asks.

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"No fair, I'd let you drive."

"You are letting me drive. I'm the driver."

"Maybe I could be the drive--"

"No."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> she's back!!
> 
> guys i'm so shit at updating lately, i'm v sorry!! (and also sorry this chapter's kinda maybe a little short) i've just been busy, lol. next chapter'll be longer and sooner, though, promise!!  
> thanks to everyone who keeps putting up with my shit schedule!!! <33


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